Wednesday - June 25th

Well today has been interesting. First, Chelsea got her drivers license yesterday . . . yippie!! She went out after dinner for her first solo drive. She went to visit a friend and stop by the store for a few things . . . . she even got home a little early!! We didn't give her enough money for the stuff she was getting so she had to use some of her own and she also put some gas in the car, $10.00 worth. Between what she spent at the store and on gas, boy was that a big deal to her. I was going to pay her back the 5.00 she spent at the store and then talked to her about the money I spent on her written and driven test, her permit and her drivers license . . . she decided 5 bucks wasn't a big deal after all.
It has occurred to me and I shared this a little with Chelsea today, that I think this summer is going to be an amazing one for the whole family and for Chelsea as an individual. Although this summer will be nothing like any of us thought due to my having cancer, I think that now it's going to be even better and be much more of a learning experience for all of us. I believe that will include a whole lot of growing, bonding, appreciation, love and other life skills for us all. I think that due to her age and that she'll be 18 in one year and can't wait to move out on her own, that this summer and all that she learns and experiences will be huge for her. I think and hope it will help her to have a little better sense of herself and of the world around us. She will experience a lot of things that she otherwise may not have experienced until she actually moves out. So I'm hoping that will put her one more step ahead of the game when the time comes. She has a very good head on her shoulders and she's a smart girl, but we older folks know that turning 18 and moving out on our own is not all that it's cracked up to be. Lots of stuff happens that we just didn't figure out on paper. I believe that after this summer and the rest of the year for that matter, that Chelsea will be much better prepared for the "real world" than she would have been if all this wasn't happening to us.
Happening to "us" . . . that's another thing I think about often. Although I'm the one with breast cancer, it's not just happening to me, it's happening to my family, my immediate family, as well as my extended family, in which I include my close friends. It's happening to "us". There are times when I feel bad about this . . . bad that what I'm going through is effecting the lives of those I love. This isn't going to be easy for me and it's not going to be easy for them either!! I try to tell them all the time how much I love them and appreciate all that they are doing to help me. I never want them to be over looked or left out as major components in my battle with cancer. I do tell them and hope they really know how much I love and appreciate them. I thank God for them everyday!!

Well, that was not at all what I started out to write, but I guess that's what I needed to write. So here's an update on me. GREAT news is that my "system" got cleaned out this morning and is no longer backed up. It all went very smooth and pretty much normal, thank goodness!!
I'm feeling weird today. I've got some pain coming from what I would call my "core". It seems to be in my lower back, pelvic region and radiates out from there. Sometimes when I sit down the pain pulses with my heartbeat for a few seconds and then goes away. This is a dull, but strong ache, not sharp or piercing. I thought that I would feel better today than I do, but that is not the case. No matter, I still feel better than I did a few days ago and I'm sure I will continue to improve, just not at the pace that I would like. I did call the nurse and she got me some medicine for my mouth, that is hurting me pretty good. I've got an infection in there, which is a possible side effect and now have some lozenges I have to suck on 4 times a day. My desk is starting to look like a small pharmaceutical supply depot!!!

Keep Smilin'
Hugs,
Wendy