Horses & Kind Gestures

Hello,
I wanted to write a 2nd post tonight about 2 other things. First is the episode I had with my mare yesterday and then about a very kind gesture a total stranger did for me :)

Spooky, is almost 8 years old. I bought her from the auction when she was just 3 months old and I've had her ever since. She is an awesome horse and I love her to death . . . . BUT I had a bit of a reality check yesterday and honestly I didn't like it at all.
Those of you that know me know I don't ride my horses and know that there are lots of different reasons why. I won't get into all that, I'd end up writing a book!! Anyway I also have a mustang gelding named Cowboy who will be 10 soon and I adopted him when he was about 2+ yrs old.

We had new neighbors move in a month or 2 ago. They have horses and yesterday they had them out in their yard area that joins our property. I had put my horses in a different area than usual so they could eat some grass and the electric fence is not turned on in this small pasture because they aren't there much so the grass can grow for them to eat later. Yesterday morning I heard Spooky squealing at Cowboy, I looked out the window and knew immediately that she was in heat. It happens once a month and Cowboy suddenly thinks he's a stallion again. She teases him, he responds and then she stomps her front foot and squeals at him!! Females, go figure!! he-he, just kidding :) I'm telling you this because I can only figure that the problem I had with her later was definitely due to her being in heat.
Late afternoon I look out the window and see the neighbors with their horses and Spooky at the fence line. Spooky is running back & forth and it just doesn't look like a good thing is going on. I went out there grabbing piece of twine on my way, I was not near the barn to get a halter and lead rope and usually all I would have to do is put the twine around her neck and lead her away. Well, NOT today!! She was ALL worked up, running the fence line, leaning over the fence and acting like she wanted to seriously go over it. This whole time Cowboy was over in their regular pasture area being a good boy, but when I went out there he came with me. The twine was not going the job and Spooky was not paying a bit of attention to me. The neighbor handed me over one of their lead ropes. I put it around her neck and over her nose and fought with her a minute or two and then it hit me . . . PAIN, until this moment I had forgotten that I just had surgery and that I shouldn't be out there doing this. But I had no choice, so I went and got some grain hoping I could coax her to follow me into the other pasture. Richard was outside watching me and I asked him to get Chelsea so she could help me. I also got a halter & lead rope when I got the grain. So Chelsea walked a little ahead of me with the grain and I had Spooky leading her in Chelseas' direction. Well, this worked and we got her and Cowboy in the other area where the fence was supposed to be working. It was not, so I walked it and found a spot where the deer go through and knock the wire loose sometimes. I finally got hit working and she did touch it. Not real good, but enough to let her know it was on. She continued to run around, making all kinds of noise. Chelsea gave them hay for me and I just had to walk away.
By this time I was exhausted and hurting really good. I was also very upset at Spooky and VERY upset that I was not able, because of the surgery, to handle her the way I should have, the way I wanted to and the way she deserved. All this meaning to run her butt in circles or what ever it took till she was going to pay attention to me. She did not win, but it was much worse than it should have been. I was also surprised that she was acting this way, even in heat, it just wasn't like her.

I came inside and honestly all I wanted to do was go to bed and cry and I almost did, but I had dinner to fix and things to do. Which was probably better than going to bed and crying anyway. But I did write about 3 emails to people I know asking if they might want to "free lease" her. She has great potential, but I haven't been able to do anything with her since she was broke to ride 4 years ago!! She needs some training and some to love and work with her. She could be a totally awesome horse with a little work and time. I struggle with feeling bad about her just "wasting away" as my pet and all my great intentions of doing stuff with her just doesn't work out.
Now that I have breast cancer and will be going through chemo this summer & fall, I'm sure I won't be able to do much with her AGAIN. And although I got through yesterday with her, what if something like that had happened after my first surgery or later when I'm tired or sick from chemo or ??? This is reality stuff and it scares me. Horses are big powerful animals and if they get freaked out or real excited about something, you've got to be able to handle the situation. The idea of not being physically able to handle her in a less than perfect situation really scares me and causes me to question things.

I am getting very tired, so I'm going to cut this short. I do want to thank a very special person and she will know who I'm talking about if she reads this. She suggested to a group of people who belong to a forum I'm a member of . . . to send me a copy of their favorite movie on DVD. She said it was done for her sister while she was going through recovery from surgery & chemo due to breast cancer. So she tries to do this for others in the same situation. She said the movies are great when you are having a chemo treatment and when you're at home and not able to do much. I think this was a very, very nice gesture and I greatly appreciate it and thank her very much!!

Keep Smilin'
Wendy