Merry Christmas

Hello Everyone,

Before the week gets to much busier with Christmas just a few days away, I want to take a minute and wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas!!!!!

I also want to thank everyone who has followed my blog and my journey with breast cancer. Things are getting to a point and have been for a little while that there is not much to report. This is a good thing :)

December 18th was one year since I totally completed cancer treatment. I am cancer free, but still suffer from fatigue and some lower back/pelvic pain. I am very, very thankful to have made it through all of this as a Survivor!!!!

I will keep this blog up for a while but I probably won't post much unless something new comes up, but we'll hope it does not!!!

Please feel free to email me if you ever want to and you can always check my photo blog for current stuff I'm working on. Here is a link for easy access if you are interested Wild Spirit Photo

Again, thank you all and God Bless,
Wendy

Photos of my Granddaughter-Paige

Hello Everyone,

There is not much to report as far as my health goes. I see the doctor in a couple of weeks and have some test scheduled. I'll let you know how that all turns out, closer to the end of the month. I was just thinking and realized that next month on Dec 18th, it will be a whole year since I finished all my cancer treatment. WOW, it's amazing how fast time flies!!!!

The below photos are one of the many reasons I am so grateful for being a cancer survivor and also for finishing up my treatment when I did.

My granddaughter Paige . . .

I took some photos of my granddaughter last week and want to share them with you all. She is the cutest, sweetest thing and I just love her soooo much.

Whenever I would get the camera out and take photos of her she would get real serious and not smile or anything. Well, that all changed last week and I'm so glad it did. She was actually quite the ham and seemed to have a real good time!!!

These first photos are before she started smiling for the camera. She is wearing her bunny outfit for Halloween.

You can click on an image to view a larger version of it, then just click your "back" button to return to this page.

Quite the little Model :)

Sitting up with a little help

I think she's ready to be done with photos!!!

The next day, this is when she started smiling and making all kinds of goofy faces for the camera!!!!

These are a little serious
I love the bottom one!!

The below collage shows the many silly faces
she was making for me. She was all messy from
eating her cereal and seemed to love it!!

More smiles and funny faces!!!

What beautiful eyes she has!!!

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

I'm going to have money to donate!!!!

Hi Everyone,

As I previously mentioned I will be donating a percent of net profit sales from my photo business for the month of October, since October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Although the month is not over yet, I am happy to report that I have been getting orders from my photo business and I'm calculating the figures and will be making a donation on or around November 1st!!!!

Once the final numbers are in, I will post the info on here. I know it won't be a huge amount, but I'm very excited to donate whatever I am able and I realize that even small donations add up and can make a difference!!!

Well, I better get going . . . . I have some more orders to work on. For any Draft Show people who have placed orders this month, making it possible for me to make a donation, I Thank You!!!

Remember, anyone can go to my Passionately Pink for the Cure page and make a donation!!!! The link to my page is in my previous post. If you have any questions, please just ask!!!

I may write again before the end of the month but in case I don't, I want to wish everyone a fun and safe Halloween!!!

The below image is one I took many, many years ago when my children were small.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Hi Everyone,

October is a huge month for breast cancer as it's the National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Although fund raising occurs throughout the year, there is a huge push during the month of October.

Again this year I have joined the Passionately Pink for the Cure program in hopes of helping to raise money for breast cancer research.

You all know how important this is to me. I can't imagine where I'd be today if it were not for all the donations people have made in the past, that have made incredible improvements in the testing, diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer.

Therefore I feel it only right that I do my part to help others in any way I can. The donations we make will help fund research that could save more lives and possibly find a cure for this horrid disease that effects more people than most of us realize.

I will be donating 10% of profits from all sales from my website Wild Spirit Photo during the month of October 2009!!! If you are not interested or able to make a purchase, you can simply make a donation yourself!!!

Here is a link to my Passionately Pink for the Cure Personal Fund Raising Page. There you can make a donation, learn more about the program, etc.

If you have any questions about this, please do not hesitate to ask!!!

Thank you and
Keep Smilin'

Wendy

Quick Update

Hi Everyone,

I'm sorry, I realize now that I said I'd write and let you know how things went at the hospital regarding my kidney infection.

I ended up going back a total of 3 times for antibiotics. The first 2 were through an IV and the 3rd one I opted for a shot in the hip. It was supposed to be a much quicker treatment, getting me out of there sooner, but it didn't end up that way. One thing about the ER is that you never want to be in a hurry when you go there!!!!!!!!!!

Thank goodness that within a couple days after the last treatment I was feeling much better. I saw my regular doctor on Monday to get my urine re-tested to make sure the infection was gone, as recommended by the hospital. The infection is gone but he said I still have some blood in my urine and it may just be the tail end of the infection but he wants me to get it checked at the lab next week where they can do a more thorough testing on it.

Tomorrow I'm heading to Sandpoint, ID for the big North Idaho Draft Horse and Mule International Show. I've been their photographer for several years, except last year when I was going through treatment. I committed to this years show much earlier this year when I thought I'd surly be feeling a whole lot better by now where the fatigue and weakness is concerned. This is a 3 1/2 day show with 2 of the days being about 14 1/2 hours long!!!!!!!!!! I'm already exhausted just trying to get ready for it!! I keep telling myself . . . I can do this, I can do this, I can do this!!!!! Wish me luck.

If I get a chance I'll post while I'm up there and let you know how it's going, but if not, I'll post for sure once I've recovered from the show and post a couple pictures too.

Oh, speaking of pictures, I just did some new one's of my granddaughter Paige so I will leave you with a collage I did with some of those photos. Hope you enjoy!!

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Been Sick with a Kidney Infection

Hello Everyone,

Boy has it been a rough week!!! Last Sunday I felt the first signs of a urinary tract infection . . .burning when I went to the bathroom. It only happened once and then went away. Monday it happened a couple of times and then stopped again. I called to make an appointment with my doctor but he only had one opening and was at the same time I was supposed to be at my oncologist.

Tuesday morning I was feeling pretty bad so I canceled my oncologist appointment and went to the immediate care center for my bladder. At this time the only symptom I had was burning when I went and needing to go A LOT!!! I got a prescription for antibiotics and was on my way.

By Thursday afternoon I was feeling worse, much worse. Now my bladder and kidney were hurting and having muscle spasms every 5-6 seconds. I went back to the doctor and he changed my medicine saying what I was taking obviously wasn't working. By this time I was feeling really, really bad and it hurt to even walk!! The doctor said he was going to send some of my urine in for a culture.

By Saturday afternoon I was even worse!!!! I felt so awful and it felt like my kidney was going to explode, it hurt so bad. I had my hubby take me to the Emergency Room at the hospital. They hooked me up to some liquids, did some blood test and were able to look up the results of my urine culture the other doctor had sent in. Ends up I have a type of kidney infection that is resistant to 3 different antibiotics, 2 of which I'd already been given. So they put in an IV and gave me a different antibiotic through the IV and wrote me a new prescription for pills that should work this time.

The doctor mentioned me staying the night at the hospital and the look on my face must not have been a good one, so then he said OR you can come back tomorrow for another IV antibiotic. I said I'd come back 'cuz, I did not want to stay the night there. While I was a the hospital my temperature spiked to 103.6

Well I went in yesterday for my 2nd dose of IV antibiotics and because I wasn't much better than the day before the doctor wanted me to come in the next day for another IV dose!!!! Although my kidney was not killing me like the day before, but I guess my blood pressure was pretty low, which they say is better than being high, but still not sure why it was so low.

So I woke up this morning feeling like crap. I took my temperature, not bad, it was 100.1. I had a cup of coffee, took all my medicine and got ready to go back for another dose of IV antibiotics. During check in the nurse gets all my vitals . . temp, blood pressure, etc. My blood pressure was back to normal but I was shocked when he said my temp was 103!!! When the doctor came in to see me he said he wants me to come back AGAIN tomorrow for another IV dose. Oh my gosh this is getting old and frustrating, but still better than staying at the hospital. He said he doesn't know why my temp is still so high but he doesn't want to stop the IV antibiotics until I no longer have a temperature.

So, all I can say is I better not have a temperature tomorrow or I might just scream!!!!!! What a wasted week this has been!!!

I'll write again and let you know what happens tomorrow.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Vacation Photos - - Lots of Photos!!

Hello Everyone,

I had a great time on our vacation to South Dakota. I hate to admit it, but I didn't realize just how much "history" that part of the country holds. It was very fun and educational. We broke the drive there into 2 days and stayed the first night in Billings Montana. The next morning before heading to Hill City, where we stayed in South Dakota, we went to Zoo Montana. Zoo Montana is a non profit, natural habitat zoo. Some of the images below are from Zoo Montana.

We stayed at a really nice, comfortable hotel in Hill City with owners that are really down to earth and terrific people, it's called the Lantern Inn. It's not a fancy place, but very clean, very friendly and like I said the owners Charlie and Janet are the best!!! Hill City was a perfect place to stay as all the great attractions we wanted to see where all in close proximity.

We hit about 2-3 attractions a day while staying in Hill City. We stayed there for 3 days before heading back home. We visited the following attractions and towns; Mount Rushmore, Keystone, Rapid City, Sturgis, Deadwood and Lead, which are both old mining towns. My hubby is an ex miner so this was great for him to visit. We rode a tram to the top of a mountain and could see Mt Rushmore from there also. We visited the South Dakota Air and Space Museum, the boys (hubby and step-son) really enjoyed this. We went to the Reptile Gardens and saw many, many reptiles!!! I do NOT like reptiles, but it was still very interesting.

And last but not least, was my favorite thing of the whole trip . . . we went to Bear Country USA. If you have never been there, it's a must see if you are ever in the area!!! This is a drive through wild animal park. The animals roam around free and you have to stay in your vehicle. At times the animals would be in the road and/or crossing the road and you just get to sit and watch them and take pictures, etc., until they decide to move. Unless you are the big black bear that seemed to like licking the dead bugs off of peoples front bumpers. One of the workers had to come in his truck and make the bear move out of the road so people could continue on. At the end you park and get to go to Baby Land and see some other animals and the baby bears!!!!

I am such an animal lover to begin with and I can't tell you how much I enjoyed seeing such a variety of animals all in one place. Most of them I would probably never see in my lifetime if I had not gone to Bear Country USA.

Below are some of the pictures I want to share with you and I've written above them where they were taken.

Reptile Gardens

Reptile Gardens

Bear Country USA.
This little guy was amazing and
I couldn't get enough of him!!!
He was up about 20-30 feet in a tree
sitting on a small branch and sleeping
most of the time. He woke up for a minute
looked around and went back to sleep.

Sleeping. He is so relaxed,
not a care in the world!!!

Soooooo Cute!!!! Look at those ears!!!

Another cutie!!

Momma Buffalo nursing her baby.
This and the next few images were taken
as we drove through the wild animals.

A Black Bear enjoying the water.

Arctic Wolf.
There were 2 young wolves,
probably a year old that were
running and playing and having a
great time. They ran back and forth across
the road several times, jumping on
each other and having a blast.
They were so fast that I was not able to
get a photo of the two of them together,
but they put on quite a show for all of us
that were watching!!

Rocky Mt. Elk

Mount Rushmore Photos
This gentleman worked on
Mt Rushmore from 1938 to 1940.
I bought a book he wrote with
Q&A about the making of Mt Rushmore.
If you purchased a book,
he signed it inside for you.

What a piece of history!!!

Me at Mt Rushmore.
Although I live in Idaho
I was born in Washington so I
thought it would be cool to have
a photo with the info about
the state of Washington.

Mount Rushmore

Zoo Montana Photos
Bald Eagle

Siberian Tiger

Old Wagon Wheels

Old Wagon

I hope you enjoyed seeing the photos as much as I enjoyed taking them :)

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Update before leaving on Vacation

Hello Everyone,

We are leaving in the morning, heading to Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota. I wanted to write an update since I saw my oncologist today.

He decided to take me off the study drug for the next 3 weeks and see if that is what might be causing the pain I'm having. If the pain gets better when I'm not taking the drugs, then I probably won't go back on them. If the pain does not get any better, then we can rule out the study drug as the cause.

He is also doing a blood test to check my thyroid, to see if it may be causing the fatigue I'm having, although he says I do not fit the physical profile of most people who's thyroid is causing them fatigue.

He also said I should talk to my primary doctor about possible chronic fatigue syndrome since he doesn't think my fatigue should be this bad, this long after chemo.

Just FYI, I can't remember how much I said about my fatigue before, but it is still really bad. I have tried to resume my photography business, but it's just impossible. There is soooo much I still cannot do and if I try and do it anyway, then I pay for it for days!!!!! I'm not anemic or any other blood test problems. I eat well and I get enough sleep, etc., etc.

I have paid attention to it pretty well for a while and I figure that if I don't over do it I have about 2-3 hours a day that are productive, after that I can't get much done. So I usually work on my flower gardens and water the yard OR I clean the house OR I go to town to run errands or have appointments. Today I left the house at 1pm and didn't get home till 4:30pm. I saw my doctor and made 3 other quick stops to get items needed before we leave tomorrow. These were not strenuous task but by the time I got home I was toast!!!!!! Anyway, the point I was trying to make is the "OR" part. I cannot do more than one semi physical activity a day without paying for it later.

I'm trying to finalize packing for tomorrow and get things in order for my daughter who will be staying here and taking care of the dogs, horses, etc., while we are gone. Thank goodness we have her to be able to do this for us or we would never be able to leave!!!

Please wish me luck in having enough energy to be able to fully enjoy our vacation. I figure if I get too tired I'll send the boys out site seeing and I'll just lay by the pool!!!!!

Ok, one more thing. The doctor finally had a cancer marker blood test done one me. I asked him about this today. He said my levels are a little high, nothing to be concerned with though. And since there is nothing to compare it to, the levels may be very normal for me. He will continue to do these test on a regular basis and then he'll be able to determine if the readings are normal for me. There are lots of other factors that effect peoples cancer markers, besides cancer itself, so I am not going to worry about this at all. The only thing that does bother me and I don't understand . . . . why did he never do this test before and have readings from when I did have cancer to compare it to? Hmmm, I don't know, but then a lot of things don't make sense to me, but there is still so much about it all that I don't know.


Just one more quick note . . . . I'm not complaining, I'm just noting, if that makes any sense :)

I have lost a lot of weight since stopping treatment. At first I wasn't going to put the actual poundage in the post, but what the heck. When I first saw my oncologist last May I weighed more than I ever have, except during pregnance, 149 lbs., during chemo I gained about 8 lbs., (it's normal for women to gain weight during chemo, I think it's due to the steroids in the antinausea drugs, they make you hungry!!!). So by the time I finished chemo I weighed 157 lbs, more than ever in my life!!!!!

I have noticed since chemo stopped that the pounds have slowely been dropping. I did have major dental work done, which did affect my eating habits for a bit, but it has been a while since that happened, so it really can't be blamed for my continued weight loss. Today at the doctors I weighed 129 pounds !!!!! Again, I'm not complaining, what woman ever complains about loosing weight!?!?!?!?!? That is 20 lbs lighter than my pre treatment weight and 28 lbs lighter than my post treatment weight. WOW.

OK, better finish getting ready for our trip now.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

I'm sorry for not posting for so long!!

Hi Everyone,

I just don't know where the time has gone and I'm so sorry for not posting anything for a while.

I'm doing ok, kind of the same as I have been for a while . . . . still lots of fatigue, weakness and some pain.

I did get to see my new doctor just over a month ago. He prescribed some mild pain meds and sleeping pills, so the pain is more manageable and some nights I fall right to sleep :)

Other nights, like tonight, (it's almost 4 am) I am not able to sleep at all, even though I am so tired!!! It's very frustrating!!!!

One thing that has been hard for me lately is that although the cancer is gone and I'm a survivor, I don't always feel like one. Although we kicked cancer's butt, it, or at least the treatment to kill it, sure kicked my butt too!!! And then, as soon as I complain about it, I feel terrible for doing so because I know there are so many that haven't survived, who would be more than willing to deal with the issues I'm having as a survivor.

I just didn't know that I'd feel so bad for so long. I am still not able to do so many things and/or not able to do them for very long. Although I've done a few photos here and there, I have not been able to pursue my photography as the business that I worked so very hard for, for 2 years before being diagnosed with cancer.

We are going on vacation next week and although I am really looking forward to it, I'm also worried about what kind of toll it's going to take on my body. I spent a few hours today with my hubby going places to try and find a canopy for the truck before our vacation. We were not able to find one yet and by the time we got home I was totally wiped out and my legs were really hurting.

I just don't get it. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you a couple things about my new doctor. First, I really like him a lot. He is very thorough and explains things very, very well. Because we are not sure why I am still having the pain in my pelvis and legs, he first ordered some x-rays which turned out normal, so then I had a full body bone scan done. That also turned out to be normal, which is really great in that there is nothing obvious going on that is causing the pain, but that also means we don't know why I'm hurting.

I see my oncologist next week, just before going on vacation. I see him every 3 months now, so it's been a while and I'm looking forward to seeing him again. I am going to ask and make sure it's not the study drug I'm taking that is causing the pain . . . . who knows!! I went in Thursday for my blood test, which I have to do before each appointment with my oncologist. During treatment is was to monitor how my body was handling the chemo, now it's to monitor how my body is handling the study drug.

One blood test that I have not had done in the past, and it may seem weird, as it did to me at first, is a Cancer Marker test or sometimes called Tumor Marker test. I did some research about these blood test and I guess they don't always do them on some types of breast cancer. There are other patients with other types of cancers that these test are extremely important for.

I had asked my doctor about these test a long time ago . . . . If he was every going to do them. I remember him saying yes, but that was about it. I am almost 100% sure that he's never ordered a cancer marker test for me and I was worried about this, until I did the research and talked to some other breast cancer patients with similar cancer as mine, who also said they never had the test done.

Well, and here is what I'm getting at . . . . when I got the blood test done on Thursday I looked at the paperwork and noticed a "code" that was not familiar. I asked the technician if she knew what it was and she said it's a Cancer Marker test. I do not understand the whole process and/or why he would be doing that now, but I will talk to him about it on Tuesday and find out more.

It's almost 5 am now and I'm sure I've just been rambling on, so I do hope it makes some sense. I've got some things I've got to get done later today so I hope I'm able to get some sleep soon!!!!

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Baby Deer

Hello Everyone,

This has nothing to do with cancer or my health, except that it makes me feel really good and I wanted to share it with you.

This past week I have seen several momma deer and their new babies in the area that I live. Of course I never have my camera with me, but I get so excited to see these cute little things. And I mean little, the one's I've been seeing are not very old and are only maybe 2 feet tall at the shoulders.

We have deer go through our property on a regular basis and one female that is a loner, has been a regular at our place for over a year now. I was able to get a photo of her under an apple tree by my barn last June and have seen her several times recently.

The babies that I've seen have been a ways up the road from us and/or a mile or more away and I was telling my husband that I would love if it a momma and baby would come through our place.

Then yesterday I was leaving for an appointment and as I was pulling out of the drive way I saw a momma and baby crossing the street!! They came from the tall grass just the other side of our chain link fence. I got pretty excited to see them. Those little guys are so dang cute and they are afraid of everything and run really fast!! They headed into the trees, a little forest if you will, across the street from us.

I've been thinking of how I might be able to get some photos of these little one's . . . like take a chair and my camera and just sit in the trees and hope something comes along and I can get photos.

Well this evening I let the dogs out and instead of putting them in their regular kennel area I let them out in a small pasture I close off from the horses, so the grass can grow and then periodically let the horses in to eat the grass. Anyway . . . my dog Hank who is a cow dog , or would be, if we had cows, is very, very aware if there is ever another animal of any kind, in our vicinity. I noticed that he kept running up and down the fence line. At first I thought it might be because of the neighbors cat, but after a while I decided to go look and see if I could see anything over there. Secretly I was hoping I might see a deer or maybe even a baby deer, as this was the area where I saw the mom and baby just the day before.

I walked up and down the 6 foot high chain link fence, stepping on anything available to try and see over all the bushes and into the tall grass on the other side. I finally got to the end of the fence and stood on a tree stump, up on my toes and looked and looked and then all of the sudden I saw it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This tiny baby deer was laying in the tall grass and I could barely make out it's head and ears. I was so excited and I ran into the house and told my daughter and grabbed my camera. She came out and looked at it also and I was able to get the below photos!!!!! Because of the bushes and some wood fence panels I have against the chain link fence, the baby could not see us coming or anything else except maybe our heads as we peaked over the fence. He stood up and walked a few feet, looked around a little and then laid back down. I don't know where it's mom was, but I now wonder if she was the deer I saw this morning around 8:30am go into my horses pasture and then she headed back over the tall grass. I also wonder if this could be the same deer that's been coming through our place for a while??

I didn't mean to write a mini book about this, but wanted to share the story and photos with you. I hope you enjoy them!!

Keep Smilin'

Wendy

Much more than I planned on writing.

Hi Everyone, I haven't been writing much lately as it's been a pretty busy time for me!! Granddaughter was born, oldest son came to visit from Colorado, youngest daughter graduated from high school and a week later had her 18th birthday. Father's day is next weekend and the weekend after that is my hubby's birthday, so by the time the end of June gets here I should be thoroughly exhausted!!!

On a personal note; I have been having some problems with pain in my pelvic area that radiates down my legs. I've had this pain, in different degrees, since going through chemo. Then I knew it was bone pain and it was much worse. Now I can only guess that's it's left over side effects from the chemo. I've read that some people continue to have different side effects for a very long time. Also, along with this I am still having a problem with fatigue. About 2 months ago I felt a noticeable increase in my energy and was pretty excited about it and thought that finally I was on my way to being a little closer to my old self. Well that is not the way it's going. I think I've actually went backwards in my energy level since feeling the increase.

One thing that really bothers me about this is that the last time I saw my oncologist and mentioned that I was still having some fatigue, I was a little surprised by his reaction, which was something like . . . "wonder why that is" or ?? He said in a way like I had never been through chemo or radiation!!!! I just shrugged and didn't say anything. For several months during chemo and radiation and a little while after, I was on pain medication. It was for the bone pain and also because I was having a lot of muscle pain and most of this was in my hip/pelvic region and my legs. It took what seemed like forever for my oncologist to take me serious about the pain and finally give me some meds that worked!! Well a couple of months ago he asked how I was doing regarding the pain. I said that either the pain was gone or the meds are working. We talked about it and decided it was time to get me off the pain meds. I was actually glad about this because he had me on some pretty strong and addictive stuff and I didn't want to take it any longer than necessary. The one thing he did say is that if I do continue to have pain after going off the pain meds, that I would need to see my regular doctor about it and not him.

I gotta tell you I kind of feel like my oncologist just totally dropped the ball on me. Like, OK, his parts done, move on now!!

Well unfortunately I did and still am having problems with the pain. It's not my muscles and I don't have to do anything for it to hurt. I really think that it's still bone pain as it seems to come from deep in my pelvic area and legs. I went to my regular doctor about this, who is actually a nurse practitioner, but I love her, and explained the situation. She said that she and/or the clinic she works for can't help patients with possible cronic pain issues. She did give me some pain pills and some strong ibuprophens. But, she obviously doesn't realize all that I've been through . . . although she knows . . . and she gave me the lowest dose of pain pills there is. Compared to what my body was used to, I might as well have been taking sugar pills for all the good they did. Anyway, at that time I decided to get a new doctor. With the insurance I have I had to submitte change papers by mid month for it to take effect the first of the next month. I called the new doctor to set up an appointment and because it's specifically to talk about the pain I'm having and possible pain managment issues, the first appointment they had available is July 1st!!!!! Well I took the appointment and now only have 2 more weeks to WAIT to see the doctor!! How friggin' rediculous is this . . . . . I called them over a month ago and still have 2 weeks to wait!!

I did do a photo shoot the end of May. It was a 3 day horse expo that I've done every year for 4 years now. Luckily I had a golf cart to cruz around in because even with that, I was totally and completely wiped out by the time it was over. I think it took me a week to recover from that.

OK, well that's enough complaining for now. I hope what I wrote makes sense, it turned out to be much more than I planned on writing!! On a much happier note and I gotta say it's the one thing that brings me the greatest amount of joy at this time and that is my granddaughter Paige. She is the most beautiful, sweet, wonderful little bundle of joy and I am totally in love with her and cannot get enough of her!!!!! Here are a couple of photos that my daughter took of her. I saw them for the first time today and just had to have copies and want to share them with you all!!

Paige loves to sleep with her hands on or around her face.

I made this Elf Cocoon & Hat for her and she looks so precious in it!!

I just love the way she has that one finger pointing up.
Like she's saying . . . ok, wait a minute, that's enough pictures for now!!

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Birth Announcement

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to share a "birth announcement" with you all. Paige is doing very well and she is just the sweetest baby!! I can't believe that in just a few days she will be 1 month old!!


Keep Smilin, Wendy

Paige Adrian - My New Granddaughter !!!!

My new Granddaughter, Paige Adrian was born Saturday morning, May 9, 2009 at 4:51 AM! ! ! She weighed 6 pounds, 9 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. She and her mom are doing just great!!!!

My daughter had a C-section and once Paige was in the baby warmer I got to cut the extra off the umbilical cord. This was so cool for me. I've had 4 babies, but I've never been on the other end of a baby being born, so this was very special for me!!

Because of the C-Section and the hour at which she was born we ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days. It was so nice being able to be there with and for her, but I was sure glad when we were able to go home.

I hope you enjoy this slide show of her first day in this world.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Maternity Slideshow

Hello Everyone, I am doing pretty good these days. I'm doing so much more since the weather is getting nicer. I have my monthly oncology visit next week and then the following week I have my first mammogram since all this cancer stuff started.

I have a slideshow that I just made of my daughter Jessi, who is due May 11th. I hope you enjoy the show!!

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

April 7th - ONE YEAR TODAY ! ! ! !

Hi Everyone,

One year ago I received the phone call that changed my life forever . . . "you have Breast Cancer".

In some ways it seems like forever ago and in other ways it's hard to believe it's been a year already.

WOW, what a year it's been, in more ways than anyone but me will ever know, and I'm so glad the worst is now behind me!!!

I am happy to report that I've FINALLY seen an increase in my energy level and am able to do more than I have for a long time. I am still nowhere near what I was, but hopefully it will continue to get better. I got out and did some yard work yesterday, trimmed the lilac bush which is actually a tree that was in bad shape when we moved in here almost 2 years ago, so it was in need of a good trimming. I had to stop every once in a while and rest but I got it done!!

Today I have some errands to run and then I plan to do a little spring cleaning in the front yard. The weather is supposed to be wonderful again today and then some rain for the next few days. I'm so tired of snow and wet and mud!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful day!!

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Just saying HI

Not much going on with me lately and I guess that is a GOOD thing!!!

I'm feeling OK, still struggling with fatigue, but I'm trying to do more and more. I can't wait for Spring to hit and for all this snow to go away!!!! Then I can work in the yard and get my barn organized and all kinds of outside stuff. I'd much rather do outside stuff than inside stuff!!

Here are a few photos that I took the other evening and wanted to share with you all.



Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Me and my new hair

Hello Everyone,

Well I decided it's time to be brave and upload a photo of myself showing you my hair. This last week is the first time I've left the house without a hat on . . . it was a big step for me!!

I get lots of compliments on it and I know people are trying to be nice. I actually don't mind it being short but I just wish I had some bangs, but they are growing so slow!!!!

It's hard to tell from this photo, as it looks mostly gray here, but I really do have a lot of dark hair, but it's under the gray and is much more noticeable in person.

I'm sure my "new look" will be a shocker for some people when they first see me. I look pretty different than when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Although I have to admit that I had a lot of gray hair, in fact I was mostly gray but no-one knew it because I have colored it for years!! My mom and daughters keep telling me to spike it!! Actually I would try it, but either it's not quite long enough or it's too thick because I can't get it to stay up!!

My daughter tells me that short is in and that gray is the new blond. Don't know if it's true, but if it is then I'll fit right in :)

I hope everyone is doing well.
Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Ultrasound and other procedures . . .

Hello Everyone,

Last week was a busy one for me. First I had been having problems with my stomach for a while and not surprisingly the specialist wanted me to get a colonoscopy. Although not at all thrilled with the idea I had this procedure done. Everything is fine with my insides, he could not find a thing wrong, so that is great news. Also, for anyone who has not had this procedure but may in the future . . . it's not a big deal at all. They say the prep is the worst . . cleaning out your colon!! I know it's different for everyone, but it was not bad for me at all. And I don't remember a thing about the procedure. I think the worst part for me was the gas pain when I woke back up. They fill you with air to open things up and get a better look. They don't let you leave until you've passed some of this air. Once things got to moving around inside me and I was able to get rid of some of the air I felt much better.

I also had an ultrasound of my right breast a couple days later. This was a follow-up to check on a small cyst they saw during a procedure while getting me ready for surgery last year. The ultrasound turned out well and everything looks great. I go in April for a mamogram.

Several of my family members have had really bad colds. They are better or are getting better but now I think I'm getting it. Have had a small sore throat the last couple days and now it hurts when I cough. WOW, it just seems like it's constantly one thing after the other!!

I'm so tired of medical stuff!!! I'm in the process of psyching myself up to be healthy and have much more energy. I'm going to work on this for a couple of days and then go for it and try not to let things get me down!!

I go Friday for my monthly blood work and visit with my oncologist. I'll let you know if anything new comes up.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Great News . . . no oral surgery needed!!!

Well, I went to the oral surgeons yesterday morning for my appointment to get my gum's opened up and the bone shaved!! I did not eat or drink anything after midnight the night before as I was instructed . . . and people you got to know how hard it is for me to not have my morning coffee!!

The gal took me back to the doctors office, he sat me in a dental chair and looked at my mouth. He said that things are healing up very nicely and that there is no need for any surgery!! Well, I can't tell you how great that was to hear!! Now I didn't have to worry about the pain, having only liquids for who knows how long, etc.

With a big smile on my face my hubby and I got back in the car and he headed toward the closest latte hut for me to get my double shot vanilla latte!!

Now after the excitement of all of this wore off I began to wonder . . . . it only took the dental surgeon 2 minutes to look at my mouth and decide that surgery wasn't necessary. Wouldn't it have been a lot easier, especially on me, if he had scheduled a quick "look see" visit to determine if surgery was needed BEFORE scheduling the surgery?!?!?!?!?!?

I may have to write them a nice letter and mention this to them. The more I think about it, the more it bothers me. I rearranged my life because of this planned surgery. My hubby bought me extra liquid stuff to eat and drink from the store, etc. It's not a small deal if you think you are heading into a couple of weeks of not being able eat and or talk very well and what ever else having your gum bones shaved could cause!!

But, with each bite I take and each thing I've done yesterday and today that I thought I wouldn't be able to do, I am very happy that it didn't have to happen :)

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Lots of stuff . . .updates and more . . .

Hi Everyone,

I had a visit with my oncologist today. Last month I saw his nurse and before that I was doing radiation, so I haven't seen him for a while.

We talked about the biphosphonate study drug that I started and then stopped in case it was causing the problems I'm STILL having with my stomach!! I only had 2 days to get back on the drug before I would not be allowed to be in the study anymore. The doctor shared with me some reasons he really wants me to take this drug. When a person has breast cancer and it's related to hormones, they get what is called "hormone therapy" by taking certain drugs that are supposed to help keep the hormone related cancer from coming back.

If the breast cancer is not hormone related, which mine is NOT, then there is nothing to take to help prevent the cancer from reaccuring, except possibly this study drug. So that is what this study is all about. The drug is already know to help build my bone density back up from what the chemo zapped from it, now if they can prove it helps prevent or lessens the reaccurence of breast cancer or breast cancer that spreads to other areas of the body then it may some day get approved as a regular thing to give breast cancer patients such as myself, once all the other treatments are completed.

So, I've decided to go back on the drug and give it one more try. I'm thinking that it didn't cause my stomach problems because I stopped the drug almost 4 weeks ago and the stomach problem is still there.

Speaking of which, I'm going to a intestinal, gastro(somthing) specialist in 1 1/2 weeks for a consoltation to see if we can figure out what is causing my stomach problems. I saw my primary doctor about this over 1 1/2 weeks ago and now I have to wait that much longer to see the specialist and this has been going on for a month now!! Like my hubby said, good thing I probably don't have something that's gonna kill me, cuz just waiting to see the doctors is rediculous!!

I also just found out that I have to go back to the oral surgeon and get some more surgery done!! He's got to go in and shave the bone . . . boy, doesn't that sound like fun!! NOT ! ! ! ! ! He said that not everyone has to have this done, but I need to . . . oh, lucky me :) Anyway for my new teeth to fit their best and feel good too, he's got to remove all the lumps and bumps and smooth things out more evenly. What a pain, but I know it's for the best in the long run . . . I've got to live with these new teeth for a long time. And let me tell you it's not been a fun experience so far, I am still pretty limited to the things I can eat. So I will be having oral surgery next Wednesday.

Also, I'm guessing because of the new teeth and also because of the stomach problems I've been having that as of today I have lost 11 pounds since I first saw my oncologist last May. That is not including the 7-10 pounds that I gained during chemo. So since last may I gained 7-10 pounds, lost that and then I've lost another 11 pounds!! Not to worry, I'm far from getting too thin and actually hope I'll be able to keep the weight off once my body gets back to normal. I can fit into some old jeans and that's great!!!

Let's see what else . . . oh yeah, another big thing that is going on with me is that I'm trying to find a new home for my horse Spooky :( This is a really, really hard thing for me to do, but for many, many reasons and mostly for her benefit, I want to find a great home for her with someone who has and will take the time to ride her and fully enjoy all of her potential. Each year I say I'm going to do something with her and now how many years later I still haven't done anything. She is so wonderful and has too much potential to just hang out in my pasture much longer. I sent out a flyer with her picture and info about her to some horse friends asking them to pass it on to their horse friends. Well, I am really surprised at all the responses I have gotten about her. I have a gal coming tomorrow to meet her and see if she wants her. If that doesn't work out I've got another 7-9 people waiting for their turn!! Here is a picture of my Spooky, I have had her since she was 3 months old and she will be 9 years old this June. I will still have Cowboy, my mustang gelding, which will be my saving grace in all of this. So keeping him will make loosing Spooky a little easier . . . . I think.



Well, I think that's about it for now. Sorry to hit you with so much. It seems like I go for a while with nothing to say and then all the sudden bang!!!, lots of stuff.

Hope you are all doing well. Just think, each day is getting a little longer as we head toward Spring and Summer :)

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Update and special photos

Hello Everyone,
I don't have much to update about but thought I'd let you know that I went to my primary doctor last week about the stomach problems that I am still having. She doesn't really know what is going on with me so she is referring me to an Intestinal- gastro(something) doctor!! I haven't heard anything yet about that appointment so I will be calling them tomorrow and see what is the hold up.

On a different note . . . my oldest daughter Jessi is due to have her first baby in May ! ! Today we took a few quick pictures of her and I just loved how some of them turned out and wanted to share them with you all. By the way, it's a GIRL ! ! ! Oh, and I have felt her kick 2 different time!!!! I'm just a little excited about this baby and can't wait to be able to hold her and love her and kiss her!!

Jessi at 6 months

I hope you are all doing well.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Winter Photography

Hello Everyone, I hope your New Year has gotten off to a good start. Not much new going on with me. My stomach problems have gotten a lot better, but I'm still having some, so I plan to call my doctor tomorrow and go in and see what she might think of this. I participated in a short online photo course on Winter Photography. Everyone in the class had about 2 weeks to go out and take photos of winter. Then everyone could upload their 2 best images to be critiqued and the chance to win the grand prize, a gift certificate for Amazon.com. The instructors said that there were so many wonderful images that it was hard to pick just one winner, so they decided to choose 5 runner-ups as well. I'm very excited and happy to say that one of my images was chosen as a runner-up!! They will be posting the winner's images and info in a press release that they send out to tons of people over the internet. Below is my winning image!!

Frozen in Motion

Here are the other two that I entered as well.

Tree in Fog

Snowy Sunset 3

Stomach Problems and Frustrations . . .

Hello Everyone,
I'm having a tough day and wanted to write about a few things. My stomach has been giving me some real problems over the last week or so. I thought it was because of the "study" pills I was taking, so I stopped taking them. Now I'm not so sure they are the cause. I've got a call into the doctor to discuss this further and see if something else might be causing it.

I just found out that one of my dear friends sister recently passed away from cancer. It started out as breast cancer and then spread to other areas. I just saw and spoke with this woman a couple of weeks before Christmas!! This makes me so, so sad and very mad too.

Today I found out that one of my online friends sister is also loosing her battle with cancer and has only days left to live.

One thing about having cancer is that you meet so many people who either have it, had it, or someone they know does. This is not a bad thing as these people become another part of your life, another extension of family so to speak. The bad things is that the more people you know who are dealing with cancer, then the more people you know who loose the battle.

This breaks my heart and pisses me off to no end!! And then I also feel bad about any whining I may have done about my situation, which has not been easy, but compared to others, I'm sure it's a walk in the park.

It just all seems so wrong, so wrong!!

Wendy

Post Treatment Dr Visit

Hello there,

Yesterday I saw the doctor, or rather the doctors Oncology Nurse. It was my first follow-up visit since being done with all the treatments.

The good news is that my blood work is all looking very good. I have to have blood test every month, both for cancer reasons but also because of the study drug that I am taking.

This last week has been a rough one for me. I'm calling it post treatment depression!! Treatment is over and I want to feel all better!! The problem that I have to come to grips with is . . . it just doesn't work that way!! It's very frustrating because I still have no energy and worse, I have no motivation. I just don't feel like doing a stinkin' thing!! But at the same time I get terribly bored. Then when I do try to do something it totally wipes me out and that causes me to get frustrated.

We've had incredible, amazing, ridiculous amounts of snow all ready this year. My first hose for watering the horses got buried when my hubby shoveled off the roof, so we pulled another one out of storage. I put it on top of the giant snow barrier that came off the roof, where I thought it would be safe. Well it might have been if it hadn't warmed up, rained and melted some snow, so it all got heavy and settled and then it snowed on top of it again. So a couple of days ago I had to water horses and my hose was buried again!! My hubby has been outside for weeks plowing driveways, shoveling off roofs, plowing driveways, again and again, so I wasn't going to ask him for help, plus he was at the time doing some MORE plowing and shoveling!! So I got the snow shovel and proceeded to dig out my hose. WOW, it was really buried and I thought I wasn't going to be able to get it, but I finally did. By the time I was done I was so exhausted and felt like I was going to have a heart attack!!

This is really sad and hard for me to accept much less admit!! On another cancer blog that I'm a member of I mentioned that I feel like a lazy bum and boy did I get my butt chewed by the other cancer patients and survivors on there!! They told me to not be so cruel to myself and to give myself more time to heal . . . my body has been through an awful lot!!

So yesterday I was talking to the nurse about some of this and how I've been feeling and I wasn't very thrilled when she said "it could take months". Ugh, not what I was wanting to hear!! I know it's different for everyone and some might bounce right back and others take longer. I just would have thought that I'd be in the "bounce right back" category!!

So that is the latest on me. I've been working on my business website, making some changes and updates and getting ready for the new year. I will start to contact some people and start booking work for this summer. It's hard for me to imagine doing this while I'm feeling like I do, but I have to believe that by the time I start shooting shows, etc., that I'm going to be feeling TONS better!!

I want to wish you all a Happy New Year!!!

Hugs,
Wendy