I'm sorry for not posting for so long!!

Hi Everyone,

I just don't know where the time has gone and I'm so sorry for not posting anything for a while.

I'm doing ok, kind of the same as I have been for a while . . . . still lots of fatigue, weakness and some pain.

I did get to see my new doctor just over a month ago. He prescribed some mild pain meds and sleeping pills, so the pain is more manageable and some nights I fall right to sleep :)

Other nights, like tonight, (it's almost 4 am) I am not able to sleep at all, even though I am so tired!!! It's very frustrating!!!!

One thing that has been hard for me lately is that although the cancer is gone and I'm a survivor, I don't always feel like one. Although we kicked cancer's butt, it, or at least the treatment to kill it, sure kicked my butt too!!! And then, as soon as I complain about it, I feel terrible for doing so because I know there are so many that haven't survived, who would be more than willing to deal with the issues I'm having as a survivor.

I just didn't know that I'd feel so bad for so long. I am still not able to do so many things and/or not able to do them for very long. Although I've done a few photos here and there, I have not been able to pursue my photography as the business that I worked so very hard for, for 2 years before being diagnosed with cancer.

We are going on vacation next week and although I am really looking forward to it, I'm also worried about what kind of toll it's going to take on my body. I spent a few hours today with my hubby going places to try and find a canopy for the truck before our vacation. We were not able to find one yet and by the time we got home I was totally wiped out and my legs were really hurting.

I just don't get it. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you a couple things about my new doctor. First, I really like him a lot. He is very thorough and explains things very, very well. Because we are not sure why I am still having the pain in my pelvis and legs, he first ordered some x-rays which turned out normal, so then I had a full body bone scan done. That also turned out to be normal, which is really great in that there is nothing obvious going on that is causing the pain, but that also means we don't know why I'm hurting.

I see my oncologist next week, just before going on vacation. I see him every 3 months now, so it's been a while and I'm looking forward to seeing him again. I am going to ask and make sure it's not the study drug I'm taking that is causing the pain . . . . who knows!! I went in Thursday for my blood test, which I have to do before each appointment with my oncologist. During treatment is was to monitor how my body was handling the chemo, now it's to monitor how my body is handling the study drug.

One blood test that I have not had done in the past, and it may seem weird, as it did to me at first, is a Cancer Marker test or sometimes called Tumor Marker test. I did some research about these blood test and I guess they don't always do them on some types of breast cancer. There are other patients with other types of cancers that these test are extremely important for.

I had asked my doctor about these test a long time ago . . . . If he was every going to do them. I remember him saying yes, but that was about it. I am almost 100% sure that he's never ordered a cancer marker test for me and I was worried about this, until I did the research and talked to some other breast cancer patients with similar cancer as mine, who also said they never had the test done.

Well, and here is what I'm getting at . . . . when I got the blood test done on Thursday I looked at the paperwork and noticed a "code" that was not familiar. I asked the technician if she knew what it was and she said it's a Cancer Marker test. I do not understand the whole process and/or why he would be doing that now, but I will talk to him about it on Tuesday and find out more.

It's almost 5 am now and I'm sure I've just been rambling on, so I do hope it makes some sense. I've got some things I've got to get done later today so I hope I'm able to get some sleep soon!!!!

Keep Smilin'
Wendy