Two Good Days!!!

I've been complaining about the bad days a lot, so it's only fair that I give the good days the credit they deserve!! I have had 2 pretty good days, Sunday and today!! Sunday I helped Chelsea clean the house and then I washed the living room windows and screen door, inside and outside. I watered my flowers and spent a little time outside just enjoying the beautiful weather we had. When it was time to feed the horses I spent some much needed time with them. I brushed them and they were loving it, and cleaned their hooves. By the time I was done I was pretty beat, but it was really nice and the horses needed it as much as I did. Today I went to the grocery store and then had a meeting at Richards school. I actually fixed myself up a little bit, make up and all and even wore my wig!! So, it is really nice to be able to say I've had a couple good days, it seems like it's been a while.

Tomorrow I go see the surgeon for a follow-up visit to see how I'm doing and healing since surgery. I can't wait to talk to him and tell him about this tendon or what ever that is hurting me so much.

Wednesday I am hoping to do my daughters and her friends senior pictures. They are running out of time to get them in the yearbook, but they keep putting it off. The weather is supposed to be nice and hopefully Chelsea will be feeling better too. She has had a really bad cold the last couple of days.

Thursday I have my pre-chemo doctor visit and blood work done.

Friday I have my LAST chemo treatment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The time has gone by pretty darn fast. I can't wait to see how I will be feeling after not having chemo for a while. I'm hoping all of my aches and pains will go away!! Then I'm sure I'll be complaining to you all about having to drive to town every day for radiation . . . . . we are never happy . . . LOL We have an apple tree by the barn. The apples aren't worth eating but the deer and the horses love them. I got some of the apples the other day and made a trail of them that led into my back yard. I'm hoping to be able to see the deer out my kitchen window. Well today all but 2 of the apples are gone and one of them has a bit out of it. But did I get to see the deer eating them, NO . . .but I know it was the deer that got them cuz', they left deer poop behind. I hope those of you that have signed up to be notified of new post are getting the notice. I did not get a notice after publishing my last post, so I don't know if you did either. If I don't get a notice on this one I may e-mail you all. Well, the eyelids are getting heavy and it's not quite 8:30pm yet. I hope you are all doing well and I want to thank you all for subscribing to my blog and for all the positive thoughts and prayers that you send my way.

I'm working on some new note cards that I will be offering for sale on my photo website. Here are a couple of examples.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Shooting for the Cure . . .my new Online Store

This post is both cancer and photography related. I am not doing the Equine Spirit site anymore. I have changed everything and now I have an Online Store called Shooting for the Cure. This online store is very easy to navigate and easy to order from. The whole purpose of this store is to raise money for breast cancer research. I am going to donate a minimum of 5% of all profits from this store to breast cancer research. So the more people buy, the more I will be able to donate!! I have kept the prices as low as possible to be able to pay for my cost of the items and still have enough to donate some money. Please tell your family and friends all about this store. There are lots of cool products to buy with lots of nice images on them. Christmas is just around the corner and there is something for almost everyone in this store. Here is a sample of some of the products available.

Coffee Cups

Framed Prints

Calendars

Shooting for the Cure Items

Journals

Tote Bags

Stage Three-Bisphosphonate

I did not know there was going to be a friggin' Stage Three!!!!!!!!!!!! I still have one more chemo treatment, next Friday, Oct 3rd. After that I will get a 3 1/2 week rest and then meet with my oncologist and radiologist to discuss my Radiation Therapy. At that time I will learn more about "Stage Three".
I just picked up the information packet and consent form that explains Stage Three. This is all about a Study they are doing for patients who take bisphosphonates after chemo. The study is optional, I don't have to do it, but I don't know what my other choices are yet. I have plenty of time to consider doing this study or not, it just has to be started within 8 weeks of completing chemo. The drug is either given by IV or in pill form. I don't get to choose the method though, the study group chooses that for me. Here is what the info sheet says about

"Why is this study being done?" "This study is investigational and is being done to find out if adding a drug (a bisphosphonate) to hormonal therapy or chemotherapy will help prevent cancer from spreading to the bones or other parts of the body. "Bisphosphonates are a group of drugs that have strong effects on the bones and have been shown to strengthen the bones in many patients who take them."

Well, all of this sounded ok until I got the part about "side effects"!! There are different possible side effects depending on if you get this through an IV or take it in pill form. The possible side effects from the IV method sound a whole lot like the possible side effects from chemo.

I am really struggling with some of the side effects I've had from the chemo. My biggest complaints are fatigue, which is becoming extreme and body/muscle aches, which are getting worse. I think I actually have a form of myalgias, that is a less common side effect of one of the chemo drugs I am taking.

SO, the thought of MORE side effects does not thrill me at all. And here is the kicker . . . . this drug is taken for 3, yes that's 3 years!!!!

I'm attaching a pictures that is a close up of a rose. Wouldn't it be great to be able to climb in, curl up, and have all life's problems disappear!!

Keep Smilin'
Big Hugs,
Wendy

Always something NEW and not always good!!

Yesterday was BAD!! For the first time in all of this I got nauseous and threw up!! I woke up, sat up and had an incredible headache. Within a couple of minutes I was heading to the bathroom feeling like I was going to get sick. Well, I did. there was not much there, mostly dry heaves but it was not fun. I was freaking out a little bit, first time to experience this. I was feeling awful but my head was killing me so I took 1 ibuprofen and 1 anti nausea pill and hoped I wouldn't end up throwing them up. I went back to bed and laid their for while. About an hour later I was RUNNING for the toilet again!! Oh man, I thought after all this time that this was just crazy!! Also for the last couple of days my ankles and feet have been swelling up. Also the bone pain from the neulasta shot was throbbing in my pelvic area!!! I was supposed to go to town and get blood test done but I was not feeling like I could make it. I called and left a message for the nurse to call me. Rick came home and I gave him a hug and just started crying. I'm really not liking this crap. He said he'd take me town later, if I needed to go get the blood work done. The nurse called and we talked for a bit. She said it was day 9 and my white blood cell count should be at it's lowest so it would be really good to get the test done if at all possible. It would give them something to work with in case I got any worse feeling. She said to keep track of my temp and if it goes up to call the doctor!! Well, I'm glad to say that I did not get nauseous for the rest of the day :) Today I woke up about 5:30am. I had coffee with Rick and then I went back to bed about 6:30-7am. Next thing I know Rick is in the bedroom checking on me. I finally woke up enough to look at the clock and it was 4pm!!!!!! Oh my goodness, I still can't believe I slept that long and especially since I still feel exhausted. My whole body is sore and kind of tingles. My back hurts, my eyes want to keep closing, I'm weak and I'm also sick and tired of feeling like this!!!!!!

Even though I'm not feeling nauseau any more I am taking my anti nauseaus pills, just to make sure!!

My neighbor lady came over the other day and brought me some roses, a cake and some tomatoes she had grow. People can be so very nice and I thank them dearly!! A couple days later I took the roses outside and took some pictures of them and took some more of my flowers too. So I have some new flower pics to share with you. I hope you enjoy them.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

This is a card I'm giving to the neighbor, featuring the roses she gave me.

This is a Bachelor Button with a water color effect

This is a poppy with a rough pastel effect

Sept 12, 2008 day after 5th chemo

Hello everyone,
The set of 3 shots did their job and my white blood cell counts were up where they were supposed to be, so I was able to go ahead with my chemo treatment yesterday.

I had my 5th of 6 chemo treatments yesterday. It was a long day, but all went well. I'm really glad I only have one more of these treatments left. I wanted to ask the doctor how many people ever decide mid way through chemo to not finish it? It just gets tougher as you go and I'm sure there are people out there that just say "no more". I know I had a hard time sitting in that chair for 3 1/2 hours yesterday just waiting for the poisonous chemicals to get from the plastic bags into my veins!! I will be getting the normal Nulasta shot this time, but waiting till Monday to get it to see if it lessens the bone pain any by getting it a few days later.

I watched a little T.V., but had to turn it off because I was watching a movie on Lifetime Movie Network . . . not advisable if you are going through any sort of emotional times in your life!! I had to turn it off before the end of the movie because I didn't want to start crying in the chemo room. I had a good lunch . . . it's great to be there at lunch time, they have good sandwiches and fruit and cookies. The nurses and the volunteers are just wonderful people!!

There was a lady that is a volunteer there and she came to me and brought me an afghan that she had crocheted. It is beautiful and the pattern is called Indian Tears, which I just love. She is part of a group, who's name I can't remember, but they make hats for all the newborn babies at the hospital and they also make these afghans and hats for the chemo patients. She later brought around some crocheted hats and let me choose one to keep.

I'm going to have to think of something special to do for all the people that work in the chemo room. I've seen other patients bring in flowers and food and that sort of thing. Maybe I can give them a framed copy of my Life Poem . . . . I know the ladies in the imaging department loved that when I gave it to them and it's something that they can hang up for everyone to see and hopefully gain some hope and peace from.

I'm also realizing that it's not going be as simple as getting through chemo and then getting through radiation and then it miraculously being over. This is something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. They don't tell you everything all at once, which is a good thing I suppose. It would be way to overwhelming to hear it all in the beginning when you are so new to finding out you have breast cancer. Although the chemo is to kill the cancer, like most things, it has side effects, but what I didn't realize was that some of the side effects can last much longer after the treatment is over.

Once chemo is over I'll get about a 3 1/2 week rest and then I will see my oncologist again and also see my radiation doctor. My oncologist mentioned a drug trial that he wants me to think about doing. The chemo zaps your body of a lot of things and I guess bone density is one of them. I may get some of this wrong so please don't quote me. I'll go over more with my doctor in a future visit. They've been using a drug that helps to build back up the bones and it's been doing very well. They've done most of the test by giving the drug through an IV and now they are testing it in a pill form. I'm sure I will do this test as the results have been very good. This drug I will have to take for 3-1/2 years.

I know there is still so much more to all of this than I am aware of right now. When I am done with all the chemo, radiation, etc., etc., and even if all the cancer is dead and gone, I know I'll have to go get blood test done regularly to check for cancer.

When I start radiation I will have to go to town to the cancer center every day Monday through Friday for 6 weeks. The side effects of radiation, like chemo, can be different for everyone. I have heard several people say that radiation kicked their butt worse than chemo when it came to fatigue. I also saw a gal who is much worse than me and her treatment is much more aggressive, she was at the cancer support group and she showed us the burns (sores) on her skin from the radiation and boy did it look like they hurt!!! Another lady who's treatment was not as aggressive didn't have any burns from her radiation. My treatment won't be that aggressive, so I'll think positive about the side effects.

Well, it's getting late so I'll try to get some sleep. I hope you are all doing well.

Keep Smilin'
Hugs,
Wendy

Wednesday, Sept 3rd

Hi Everyone,

This last week has been a busy one, so I haven't really had time to write. Several things that I want to mention. First, I want to clarify, in case there was a misunderstanding with the way I worded it. When I got my MRI results back and said there was no cancer, I should have said, No Additional Cancer. The MRI was for my lower back where I've been having some pain and the doctor wanted to make sure the cancer had not spread to that area. The good new was that it had NOT spread. But what is causing my back pain is that I have degenerative disc disease. I saw my primary doctor today and she went over the MRI results with me. Of course the wording is kind of greek to me, but there are a few problems with my lower back. My doctor is sending the report to a back specialist to see if there is something that needs to be done at this time or in the near future. So, the bottom line is that she read me the report and we know what it says, but we really don't know what it means!! I will let you all know more as soon as I hear anything.

OK, now for the cancer stuff. I believe I mentioned that I did not get the nulasta shot after my last chemo treatment. The nulasta shot causes my body to produce more white blood cells, since the chemo zaps them and this is not good. The shot was causing me a lot of pain and my white blood count had been very, very good so the doctor thought we'd try it without the shot and see what happens. Because I didn't have the shot I had to go in for blood test on day 9 after chemo to check these white blood cell counts. Well that was last Friday and I didn't hear anything so I figured all was OK. Well, they called me today and said that my white blood cell count was very low on Friday and they wanted me re-tested today to see if it's improved or not. I got a call this afternoon and NO, they have not improved, they are still very low. So I had to go back in and get a shot. Although it causes my body to produce more white blood cells, it is different than the Nulasta shot that I did not get. AND I have to have 3 of these shots, 1 each day for 3 days!!! I think next time I'll just get the nulasta shot!!

I do hope the shots work because if my counts are down they will not do my next chemo treatment, which just prolongs everything. Also, if it gets too bad and doesn't improve, they could do a blood transfusion. I will of course keep you posted as things happen.

As I mentioned above, this has been a busy week. Last Sunday, Aug. 31st was my nieces and step-son's birthday. My sister put together a joint birthday party at her house. The theme was Super Hero's and some folks dressed up. It turned out really nice and everyone had a BLAST!! Donna, thank you again for doing all of that!!!!! Then on Tuesday school started, so we spent the last week getting the kids ready for that. The first couple of days have gone well for both of them!!

Here are a couple of pictures of 2 different rose's at my mom's house. They are so pretty. I don't have roses in my yard yet, but next year I will plant some.

Keep Smilin'

Hugs,

Wendy