Wendy's Personal Journey: June 2009

Hi Everyone, I haven't been writing much lately as it's been a pretty busy time for me!! Granddaughter was born, oldest son came to visit from Colorado, youngest daughter graduated from high school and a week later had her 18th birthday. Father's day is next weekend and the weekend after that is my hubby's birthday, so by the time the end of June gets here I should be thoroughly exhausted!!!

On a personal note; I have been having some problems with pain in my pelvic area that radiates down my legs. I've had this pain, in different degrees, since going through chemo. Then I knew it was bone pain and it was much worse. Now I can only guess that's it's left over side effects from the chemo. I've read that some people continue to have different side effects for a very long time. Also, along with this I am still having a problem with fatigue. About 2 months ago I felt a noticeable increase in my energy and was pretty excited about it and thought that finally I was on my way to being a little closer to my old self. Well that is not the way it's going. I think I've actually went backwards in my energy level since feeling the increase.

One thing that really bothers me about this is that the last time I saw my oncologist and mentioned that I was still having some fatigue, I was a little surprised by his reaction, which was something like . . . "wonder why that is" or ?? He said in a way like I had never been through chemo or radiation!!!! I just shrugged and didn't say anything. For several months during chemo and radiation and a little while after, I was on pain medication. It was for the bone pain and also because I was having a lot of muscle pain and most of this was in my hip/pelvic region and my legs. It took what seemed like forever for my oncologist to take me serious about the pain and finally give me some meds that worked!! Well a couple of months ago he asked how I was doing regarding the pain. I said that either the pain was gone or the meds are working. We talked about it and decided it was time to get me off the pain meds. I was actually glad about this because he had me on some pretty strong and addictive stuff and I didn't want to take it any longer than necessary. The one thing he did say is that if I do continue to have pain after going off the pain meds, that I would need to see my regular doctor about it and not him.

I gotta tell you I kind of feel like my oncologist just totally dropped the ball on me. Like, OK, his parts done, move on now!!

Well unfortunately I did and still am having problems with the pain. It's not my muscles and I don't have to do anything for it to hurt. I really think that it's still bone pain as it seems to come from deep in my pelvic area and legs. I went to my regular doctor about this, who is actually a nurse practitioner, but I love her, and explained the situation. She said that she and/or the clinic she works for can't help patients with possible cronic pain issues. She did give me some pain pills and some strong ibuprophens. But, she obviously doesn't realize all that I've been through . . . although she knows . . . and she gave me the lowest dose of pain pills there is. Compared to what my body was used to, I might as well have been taking sugar pills for all the good they did. Anyway, at that time I decided to get a new doctor. With the insurance I have I had to submitte change papers by mid month for it to take effect the first of the next month. I called the new doctor to set up an appointment and because it's specifically to talk about the pain I'm having and possible pain managment issues, the first appointment they had available is July 1st!!!!! Well I took the appointment and now only have 2 more weeks to WAIT to see the doctor!! How friggin' rediculous is this . . . . . I called them over a month ago and still have 2 weeks to wait!!

I did do a photo shoot the end of May. It was a 3 day horse expo that I've done every year for 4 years now. Luckily I had a golf cart to cruz around in because even with that, I was totally and completely wiped out by the time it was over. I think it took me a week to recover from that.

OK, well that's enough complaining for now. I hope what I wrote makes sense, it turned out to be much more than I planned on writing!! On a much happier note and I gotta say it's the one thing that brings me the greatest amount of joy at this time and that is my granddaughter Paige. She is the most beautiful, sweet, wonderful little bundle of joy and I am totally in love with her and cannot get enough of her!!!!! Here are a couple of photos that my daughter took of her. I saw them for the first time today and just had to have copies and want to share them with you all!!