Sept 12, 2008 day after 5th chemo

Hello everyone,
The set of 3 shots did their job and my white blood cell counts were up where they were supposed to be, so I was able to go ahead with my chemo treatment yesterday.

I had my 5th of 6 chemo treatments yesterday. It was a long day, but all went well. I'm really glad I only have one more of these treatments left. I wanted to ask the doctor how many people ever decide mid way through chemo to not finish it? It just gets tougher as you go and I'm sure there are people out there that just say "no more". I know I had a hard time sitting in that chair for 3 1/2 hours yesterday just waiting for the poisonous chemicals to get from the plastic bags into my veins!! I will be getting the normal Nulasta shot this time, but waiting till Monday to get it to see if it lessens the bone pain any by getting it a few days later.

I watched a little T.V., but had to turn it off because I was watching a movie on Lifetime Movie Network . . . not advisable if you are going through any sort of emotional times in your life!! I had to turn it off before the end of the movie because I didn't want to start crying in the chemo room. I had a good lunch . . . it's great to be there at lunch time, they have good sandwiches and fruit and cookies. The nurses and the volunteers are just wonderful people!!

There was a lady that is a volunteer there and she came to me and brought me an afghan that she had crocheted. It is beautiful and the pattern is called Indian Tears, which I just love. She is part of a group, who's name I can't remember, but they make hats for all the newborn babies at the hospital and they also make these afghans and hats for the chemo patients. She later brought around some crocheted hats and let me choose one to keep.

I'm going to have to think of something special to do for all the people that work in the chemo room. I've seen other patients bring in flowers and food and that sort of thing. Maybe I can give them a framed copy of my Life Poem . . . . I know the ladies in the imaging department loved that when I gave it to them and it's something that they can hang up for everyone to see and hopefully gain some hope and peace from.

I'm also realizing that it's not going be as simple as getting through chemo and then getting through radiation and then it miraculously being over. This is something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life. They don't tell you everything all at once, which is a good thing I suppose. It would be way to overwhelming to hear it all in the beginning when you are so new to finding out you have breast cancer. Although the chemo is to kill the cancer, like most things, it has side effects, but what I didn't realize was that some of the side effects can last much longer after the treatment is over.

Once chemo is over I'll get about a 3 1/2 week rest and then I will see my oncologist again and also see my radiation doctor. My oncologist mentioned a drug trial that he wants me to think about doing. The chemo zaps your body of a lot of things and I guess bone density is one of them. I may get some of this wrong so please don't quote me. I'll go over more with my doctor in a future visit. They've been using a drug that helps to build back up the bones and it's been doing very well. They've done most of the test by giving the drug through an IV and now they are testing it in a pill form. I'm sure I will do this test as the results have been very good. This drug I will have to take for 3-1/2 years.

I know there is still so much more to all of this than I am aware of right now. When I am done with all the chemo, radiation, etc., etc., and even if all the cancer is dead and gone, I know I'll have to go get blood test done regularly to check for cancer.

When I start radiation I will have to go to town to the cancer center every day Monday through Friday for 6 weeks. The side effects of radiation, like chemo, can be different for everyone. I have heard several people say that radiation kicked their butt worse than chemo when it came to fatigue. I also saw a gal who is much worse than me and her treatment is much more aggressive, she was at the cancer support group and she showed us the burns (sores) on her skin from the radiation and boy did it look like they hurt!!! Another lady who's treatment was not as aggressive didn't have any burns from her radiation. My treatment won't be that aggressive, so I'll think positive about the side effects.

Well, it's getting late so I'll try to get some sleep. I hope you are all doing well.

Keep Smilin'
Hugs,
Wendy