Wendy's Personal Journey

Here I sit, the day before my last chemo treatment. I'm really glad it's the last one, but I am so dreading it. I'm supposed to start my anti nausea pills today. I'm supposed to take 2 this morning and 2 tonight. They leave a weird after taste in my mouth and I just don't want to take them, but I've got to. It's better than the alternative which would be a greater chance of vomiting after treatment and I really, really don't want that. I also think these pills and the anti-nausea drug they give me with chemo is part of why my coffee taste so bad. Oh, that reminds me, I better drink extra coffee today because tomorrow it will start tasting like crap!!

I started writing this morning, and now it's night time.

I went to the doctor today. I saw a different doctor because mine is on vacation. This doctor was really nice and I liked him a lot. My doctor is great too, but I didn't know what it would be like to see someone different and it turned out really well. He said my blood test all look OK. I showed him my fingernails and well . . . some of them are starting to separate from my nail beds. Loosing nails is one of the possible side effects. I thought this late in the game and since my nails had still been looking pretty good, that I would avoid this, but NOOOOOOOOOOO. So how great is that . . . I'm going to loose at least some, maybe all of my fingernails . . . . that should look real attractive. At least winter is coming and I'll be able to wear gloves a lot. How long does it take to grow fingernails from scratch?? I think a long time!!!

Boy, I gotta tell ya, that sometimes it's hard to keep trying to come up with positive thoughts to counter all the negative that is going on.

One other thing that he talked about that could have me a little worried, but I just won't let it. He looked at my neck and upper chest area where I happen to have some spider viens. He asked me if I had a history of drinking or liver disease. Well, any of you that know me, know I have NEVER had a drinking problem and I have no liver problems that I've ever known about and none in my family history that I know about. Then I laid down on the table for him to check my ankels for swelling, etc and to feel around my stomach. He took some extra time feeling around my liver area and making sure it wasn't tender or hurting me, which it was not. I actually have some of these spider viens on my cheeks too and if I think about it, I think the spider viens themselves may be hereditary. They do blood test all the time on me and the check for things like liver functionality, etc., so I know if there was or ever is a problem they will tell me. I think he was just making sure that I wasn't feeling any pains in my liver area.

Ok, well I have the last chemo tomorrow. I am so happy about that I just can't tell you!!
I'll write when I can after chemo.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy