Thanks to everyone who has donated ! ! ! !

Just a quick note . . . . I want to thank everyone who has donated to the Passionately Pink for the Cure Fundraiser!!! Every dollar counts and your donations WILL make a difference!!!

For those of you who haven't donated yet . . . . it only takes a couple of minutes!!!

Thank you so much,
Wendy

Please, it's only $5.00

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to take a minute and ask that if at all possible, please take a few minutes and donate to my Passionately Pink for the Cure fundraiser.

It only takes a couple of minutes and you only need to donate $5.00!!

The link to my Event Page is below . . . right above the thermometer that shows the progress of the fundraiser, is a DONATE button.

http://www.komendonations.org/site/TR/PassionatelyPink/PassionatelyPink?px=2736592&pg=personal&fr_id=1080&et=jck-xfp36U5IdGzr9Dc_Kg..&s_tafId=12020 ">

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Passionately Pink for the Cure Fundraiser

Hello Everyone,

October is Breast Cancer Month and I have signed up with the Passionately Pink for the Cure fundraiser event. All donations made will go to the Susan G Komen for the Cure foundation. All they ask for is a minimum donation of $5.00.

Please follow the link below and it will lead you to my personal page on Passionately Pink for the Cure. There you can read a little something that I wrote and make your donations.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact me.

I want to thank each and every one of you in advance for taking the time to support additional research for the fight again Breast Cancer.


Click below to visit my personal on Passionately Pink for the Cure.

http://www.komendonations.org/site/TR/PassionatelyPink/PassionatelyPink?px=2736592&pg=personal&fr_id=1080&et=jck-xfp36U5IdGzr9Dc_Kg..&s_tafId=12020

Polymyalgia Rheumatica

This is what my oncologist thinks might be causing my muscle pain. He did a blood test that showed a low level of this and the best treatment is a low dose of steroids. So he's called me in some prednizone which I have to pick up tomorrow and start taking. If the prednizone does not make it better, then it's not Polymyalgia Rheumatica.

My opinion is that it's not this weird thing, mostly because the parts of the body that are usually effected by this are not the parts that I'm having the most trouble with. BUT I could be wrong and I guess we'll know early next week . . . .if the steroids help or not . . . again, I said I could be wrong.

Today was a little stressful because I start getting ready for radiation next week and I also have to try and see if I can get my dentures and teeth pulled and also start the biophosphenates. It's all in the timing of everything and the doctor is going to get some answers for me and try to help me with making it all work out. The big deal is that I have to start the biophosphenates by November 26th, they have to be started within 8 weeks of the last chemo treatment. Once on this drug, no dental work should be done because there is a very rare but possible chance of jaw bone problems.

I think I can get my teeth pulled while I'm doing radiation, he's checking on that, but my concern is if I'll feel well enough to go in for radiation right after having this major oral surgery. I had hoped to have a week to heel up, but the radiation can't wait, we have to get that started right away.

I'm just not going to let myself stress about this . . . it will work out, one way or another.

I met my radiation oncologist and 2 of his nurses today, like most everyone else at the cancer center . . . . they are very nice.

So that's my medical update for the moment. I hope you all have a great weekend :)

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Struggling with muscle aches

It's funny how I think because I had my last chemo treatment that I should be feeling a lot better. Like magically my body should be getting back to normal. Well, my body doesn't yet know it's had it's last chemo, for all it knows we'll be going in on Friday for another dose, as that will be 3 weeks since my last treatment.

I know I need to give myself some time. I would hope by week 4 or 5 I will be feeling a lot better. But it's not like you wake up after the last chemo treatment and suddenly you have hair, or you have tons of energy, or your body doesn't hurt anymore or your fingernails and toenails stop separating from the nail beds. Yes, my toenails are doing it too.

This week and especially today my muscles are really hurting, especially my leg muscles. When I first stand up to walk I am stiff and it hurts. After walking a little bit it gets better, but this really stinks. I feel like an old lady!!

I see my oncologist on Friday, so I will talk to him more about this. I will also see the radiation oncologist for the first time. I'm looking forward to that, to find out more about what is ahead of me. I don't know much about the process of radiation yet. All I know is that I go in every stinkin' day Monday through Friday for 6 weeks. I hope I'll be able to get it over with before the snow flies and while the roads are good.

I'm also looking forward to seeing my medical oncologist (cancer doctor) as I will be learning more about the study I have signed up to participate in.

I will write more about the study and some other things, (major dental work that I need done) after I see all the doctors on Friday.

I hope you are all having a good week.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Living Proof---the movie

I watched the true story movie Living Proof tonight. Wow, it was great and if you didn't see it or know what it's about . . . it's about the doctor that discovered Herceptin as a breast cancer treatment, that has saved thousands of lives.

I believe it's on again tomorrow night (Sunday) on Lifetime. If you didn't see it tonight, please try to watch it tomorrow night. It is a great movie!!

Herceptin is used against breast cancer that is HER2 positive. My breast cancer is HER2 negative so this is not a treatment that I receive.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Feeling a little sick, but not chemo related.

I started not feeling too good earlier this week. My left ear and the side of my neck was hurting. On Wednesday I decided it was time to see the doctor. I tried to see my primary doc but she was all booked up. Before heading to the ER I decided to call the cancer center and spoke with a nurse about what I was feeling. She wanted me to come into the office so the doc could take a look. I had to go in for blood work anyway and then I saw the doc after that.

I really thought I had an ear infection because my ear was hurting so much, but it turns out my ears looked great. About half way down between my left ear and my throat, I have a very tender spot, which I figured was a swollen lymph node. The doctor sent me for an ultrasound. He wanted to see if maybe it was an abscess or anything else that we needed to worry about. The ultrasound showed that it was indeed a swollen lymph node. I just can't believe how painful this thing is . . .I've had tender lymph nodes before, but nothing like this. It hurts when I swallow because it's moving the muscles next to it, and the pain is radiating out and that is what is causing my ear to hurt. Besides a little stuffiness, I have no other symptoms of being sick, so we are not sure what is causing this. The doc does not want to put me on antibiotics yet since he's not sure if I really need them or not. He did say it was good that I came in and if it gets any worse or I get any other symptoms to let him know right away.

It just seems like there is always something!!!! Tomorrow is 2 weeks since my last chemo. I might be feeling better chemo wise, but it's hard to tell since this other thing is hurting so much.

I get a little excited to think about having enough energy to actually be able to do something, I mean like, really something. I want to clean my barn and get it ready for winter and set up some outside wind blocks under the lean-to for the horses. I've been keeping busy doing a lot of crocheting and I'm getting a lot of Christmas presents done . . . . but it gets a little boring. Oh and I've just about played myself to death, playing Free Cell on the computer!!

Well, that's about all I have for now. I hope all of you are doing well :)

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

The kindness of strangers

Over the last several months while going through this journey of mine, I have received gifts and e-mails from complete strangers wishing me well. I wanted to take a moment and acknowledge these people and let them know just how much their correspondence and thoughtfulness has meant to me.

Most of these folks have had a relative or close friend that has or had cancer. Some of them have had to live through loosing that close friend or dear family member to this awful disease. Please know that my heart goes out to each and every one of you.

Some of these folks have happened upon my personal blog in the strangest of ways and it's always very interesting to me how that happens. The internet is just an amazing thing!!

I received an e-mail last week from some folks that touched me very, very deeply. If they read this post I hope they know I'm talking about them. These days it's hard to find someone who will go out of their way and take that extra minute that can make all the difference in someone's life.

I am as guilty of this as the next person, we get caught up in our own day to day lives and although we "mean to", it just never gets done. I hope, especially after what I'm going through, to change my ways. You never know just how much that phone call, e-mail or text message can change a persons day and even change their outlook, hopefully for the better.

I want to ask each and every one of you to please go out of your way at least once in the next week to brighten someone's day. I just sent an e-mail to a fellow photographer telling him how much I loved some special effects images that he did . . . . I know that would make me feel great. I've wanted to write him for over a week about those images, so now I finally did it.

I want to thank each and every one of you that have been reading my blog and have commented or e-mailed me. You have no idea how much having this blog and knowing that someone is actually reading it has meant to me. You have all in your own ways helped me more than you will know.

God Bless You All,
Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Wednesday - Oct 8, 2008

WOW, I can't believe it's Wednesday already!! I went in yesterday for my Neulasta shot and boy am I feeling it today!! Feels like I've been in another train wreck . . . and they question my wanting pain pills . . . . please give me a break!!

Everything hurts from my eyeballs to my toes and I have a sore throat too!! My nail beds are hurting so I'm sure that means more nails will start separating from the beds. Oh and my mouth . . . it hurts more than usual and eating dinner was a little rough tonight. And I'm getting another yeast infection and another very painful cyst in my groin area. Oh the joys of chemo and all that goes with it . . . . I guess I'm just getting the double whammy of side effects since this was my last treatment . . . .I'm going out with a bang!!

BUT . . . . it's the last one, the last one, the last one, it's the last one, the last one, the last!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait for the day that I feel half normal again . . . . I can only imagine how great that is going to be!! Just FYI, there are people who have the side effects from chemo hang on long after they are done with chemo. I don't plan to be one of those, but just thought I'd throw that out there.

I'm going to soak in the tub and hope it helps my poor body to feel a little better.

Keep Smilin'
Hugs,
Wendy

Day 3 after last chemo treatment

My chemo on Friday went well. When I was all done they gave me a "chemo cake" and a certificate that was signed by several of the nurses and a book about life after treatment. It was very nice . . . they are such a great group of people at the cancer center.

I've had a couple of pretty rough days emotionally. I know not everyone is like me in the emotions department, but I gotta tell you guys, it's really bad for me. Thank goodness I'm on the upswing of the emotions part of it now. I suppose it would be bad enough if it were only the cancer and chemo I was dealing with, but add in all the other things that are going on in my life and boy can it be overwhelming.

This is one reason it takes me a few days to write after chemo. For one thing I can't stop crying long enough to write. For another thing if I actually wrote in any detail about how I was feeling, thinking, etc., someone would surly send over the guys with the white wrap around suits who would take me to a rubber room!! Yes, honestly it can get that bad.

For all of you that have known or will know anyone in the future going through this or anything like it . . . please know it's probably much worse for them at times than anyone . . . even their immediate family . . . will ever know. Why is this . . .well for me it's because I try to be strong for the most part and usually fall apart when no one is around or in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping. If they do catch me crying or having a hard time, I know it's very hard for them because they want to help but there is really not much they can do. Mostly it helps if they just listen . . . and a hug, a really long hug . . . like just holding them for a while, can have a great relaxing effect. Well, unless they are not huggers and although it's very hard for me to believe, there are people out there that are not huggers!!!!

I need to eat and try to get some rest. I will write more later.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy

Here I sit, the day before my last chemo treatment. I'm really glad it's the last one, but I am so dreading it. I'm supposed to start my anti nausea pills today. I'm supposed to take 2 this morning and 2 tonight. They leave a weird after taste in my mouth and I just don't want to take them, but I've got to. It's better than the alternative which would be a greater chance of vomiting after treatment and I really, really don't want that. I also think these pills and the anti-nausea drug they give me with chemo is part of why my coffee taste so bad. Oh, that reminds me, I better drink extra coffee today because tomorrow it will start tasting like crap!!

I started writing this morning, and now it's night time.

I went to the doctor today. I saw a different doctor because mine is on vacation. This doctor was really nice and I liked him a lot. My doctor is great too, but I didn't know what it would be like to see someone different and it turned out really well. He said my blood test all look OK. I showed him my fingernails and well . . . some of them are starting to separate from my nail beds. Loosing nails is one of the possible side effects. I thought this late in the game and since my nails had still been looking pretty good, that I would avoid this, but NOOOOOOOOOOO. So how great is that . . . I'm going to loose at least some, maybe all of my fingernails . . . . that should look real attractive. At least winter is coming and I'll be able to wear gloves a lot. How long does it take to grow fingernails from scratch?? I think a long time!!!

Boy, I gotta tell ya, that sometimes it's hard to keep trying to come up with positive thoughts to counter all the negative that is going on.

One other thing that he talked about that could have me a little worried, but I just won't let it. He looked at my neck and upper chest area where I happen to have some spider viens. He asked me if I had a history of drinking or liver disease. Well, any of you that know me, know I have NEVER had a drinking problem and I have no liver problems that I've ever known about and none in my family history that I know about. Then I laid down on the table for him to check my ankels for swelling, etc and to feel around my stomach. He took some extra time feeling around my liver area and making sure it wasn't tender or hurting me, which it was not. I actually have some of these spider viens on my cheeks too and if I think about it, I think the spider viens themselves may be hereditary. They do blood test all the time on me and the check for things like liver functionality, etc., so I know if there was or ever is a problem they will tell me. I think he was just making sure that I wasn't feeling any pains in my liver area.

Ok, well I have the last chemo tomorrow. I am so happy about that I just can't tell you!!
I'll write when I can after chemo.

Keep Smilin'
Wendy