Chemo Sucks . . . yep, I said it!!

Well, it's definitely getting worse as time goes on. I had chemo 2 days ago, yesterday I got the nulasta shot, by yesterday afternoon I was in bed feeling pretty rough. I got up for dinner . . . wasn't hungry, but knew I had to eat something. Went back to bed and tried to rest. Before I knew it the emotions hit. First it starts with my brain going over every stressful, awful, emotional thing that has ever happened to me, well maybe not every thing . . that would put me over the edge for sure. So far I'm just close to the edge!!! Everything from feeling sorry for myself to being really pissed off!!! It's amazing how much tears and snot the body can produce!!! Where does it all come from?!?!?!?


No need to worry, I'm better today, but wanted to share some of this.

Last night the hot flashes and cold sweats hit really hard. It was so hard to get comfortable, hot and sweaty one minute, freezing the next. It's hard when all you want to do is go to SLEEP!!!

I can't imagine being any less of a strong and positive person and being able to get through these tough times.

I want to write more but there are so many thoughts and emotions going through my head, that as I type it, it doesn't make sense or sound right.



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It is now almost 8pm, I've been able to get some rest today, but it's been rough. The emotions hit me again really hard this afternoon. . . . wow, the body is an amazing and powerful force!!

Don't ever let anyone tell you this chemo stuff isn't too bad. I know they've come a million miles in the treatment and I couldn't imagine what it must have been like to go through this 15, 10 or even 5 years ago, but let me tell you it's still no walk in the park. It effects every aspect of your life and the lives of your family. And I know I have it much better than some, so I try not to complain too much, but I've got to get it out of my system and then I can be thankful for everything else.

OK, the chemo brain is kicking in and I'm loosing focus, so I better call it a night. Plus I don't want to say too much while I'm so emotional and feeling like crap . . . oh yeah, the nulasta shot has kicked in so now I have the body aches too.

But again, I'm not having a whole lot of other possible side effects, so I have to be and am very thankful for that . . . . very Thankful!!!! I'm so blessed in so many ways and I have to remember that and things could always be worse. And this to shall pass . . . . and this too shall pass.

I'm sorry if I don't make sense sometimes, I hope you will all try to understand. I thank you all so much for reading my blog and for your support!!!!

Keep Smilin'
Hugs,
Wendy