Hi Everyone,
I just don't know where the time has gone and I'm so sorry for not posting anything for a while.
I'm doing ok, kind of the same as I have been for a while . . . . still lots of fatigue, weakness and some pain.
I did get to see my new doctor just over a month ago. He prescribed some mild pain meds and sleeping pills, so the pain is more manageable and some nights I fall right to sleep :)
Other nights, like tonight, (it's almost 4 am) I am not able to sleep at all, even though I am so tired!!! It's very frustrating!!!!
One thing that has been hard for me lately is that although the cancer is gone and I'm a survivor, I don't always feel like one. Although we kicked cancer's butt, it, or at least the treatment to kill it, sure kicked my butt too!!! And then, as soon as I complain about it, I feel terrible for doing so because I know there are so many that haven't survived, who would be more than willing to deal with the issues I'm having as a survivor.
I just didn't know that I'd feel so bad for so long. I am still not able to do so many things and/or not able to do them for very long. Although I've done a few photos here and there, I have not been able to pursue my photography as the business that I worked so very hard for, for 2 years before being diagnosed with cancer.
We are going on vacation next week and although I am really looking forward to it, I'm also worried about what kind of toll it's going to take on my body. I spent a few hours today with my hubby going places to try and find a canopy for the truck before our vacation. We were not able to find one yet and by the time we got home I was totally wiped out and my legs were really hurting.
I just don't get it. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you a couple things about my new doctor. First, I really like him a lot. He is very thorough and explains things very, very well. Because we are not sure why I am still having the pain in my pelvis and legs, he first ordered some x-rays which turned out normal, so then I had a full body bone scan done. That also turned out to be normal, which is really great in that there is nothing obvious going on that is causing the pain, but that also means we don't know why I'm hurting.
I see my oncologist next week, just before going on vacation. I see him every 3 months now, so it's been a while and I'm looking forward to seeing him again. I am going to ask and make sure it's not the study drug I'm taking that is causing the pain . . . . who knows!! I went in Thursday for my blood test, which I have to do before each appointment with my oncologist. During treatment is was to monitor how my body was handling the chemo, now it's to monitor how my body is handling the study drug.
One blood test that I have not had done in the past, and it may seem weird, as it did to me at first, is a Cancer Marker test or sometimes called Tumor Marker test. I did some research about these blood test and I guess they don't always do them on some types of breast cancer. There are other patients with other types of cancers that these test are extremely important for.
I had asked my doctor about these test a long time ago . . . . If he was every going to do them. I remember him saying yes, but that was about it. I am almost 100% sure that he's never ordered a cancer marker test for me and I was worried about this, until I did the research and talked to some other breast cancer patients with similar cancer as mine, who also said they never had the test done.
Well, and here is what I'm getting at . . . . when I got the blood test done on Thursday I looked at the paperwork and noticed a "code" that was not familiar. I asked the technician if she knew what it was and she said it's a Cancer Marker test. I do not understand the whole process and/or why he would be doing that now, but I will talk to him about it on Tuesday and find out more.
It's almost 5 am now and I'm sure I've just been rambling on, so I do hope it makes some sense. I've got some things I've got to get done later today so I hope I'm able to get some sleep soon!!!!
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Baby Deer
Hello Everyone,
This has nothing to do with cancer or my health, except that it makes me feel really good and I wanted to share it with you.
This past week I have seen several momma deer and their new babies in the area that I live. Of course I never have my camera with me, but I get so excited to see these cute little things. And I mean little, the one's I've been seeing are not very old and are only maybe 2 feet tall at the shoulders.
We have deer go through our property on a regular basis and one female that is a loner, has been a regular at our place for over a year now. I was able to get a photo of her under an apple tree by my barn last June and have seen her several times recently.
The babies that I've seen have been a ways up the road from us and/or a mile or more away and I was telling my husband that I would love if it a momma and baby would come through our place.
Then yesterday I was leaving for an appointment and as I was pulling out of the drive way I saw a momma and baby crossing the street!! They came from the tall grass just the other side of our chain link fence. I got pretty excited to see them. Those little guys are so dang cute and they are afraid of everything and run really fast!! They headed into the trees, a little forest if you will, across the street from us.
I've been thinking of how I might be able to get some photos of these little one's . . . like take a chair and my camera and just sit in the trees and hope something comes along and I can get photos.
Well this evening I let the dogs out and instead of putting them in their regular kennel area I let them out in a small pasture I close off from the horses, so the grass can grow and then periodically let the horses in to eat the grass. Anyway . . . my dog Hank who is a cow dog , or would be, if we had cows, is very, very aware if there is ever another animal of any kind, in our vicinity. I noticed that he kept running up and down the fence line. At first I thought it might be because of the neighbors cat, but after a while I decided to go look and see if I could see anything over there. Secretly I was hoping I might see a deer or maybe even a baby deer, as this was the area where I saw the mom and baby just the day before.
I walked up and down the 6 foot high chain link fence, stepping on anything available to try and see over all the bushes and into the tall grass on the other side. I finally got to the end of the fence and stood on a tree stump, up on my toes and looked and looked and then all of the sudden I saw it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This tiny baby deer was laying in the tall grass and I could barely make out it's head and ears. I was so excited and I ran into the house and told my daughter and grabbed my camera. She came out and looked at it also and I was able to get the below photos!!!!! Because of the bushes and some wood fence panels I have against the chain link fence, the baby could not see us coming or anything else except maybe our heads as we peaked over the fence. He stood up and walked a few feet, looked around a little and then laid back down. I don't know where it's mom was, but I now wonder if she was the deer I saw this morning around 8:30am go into my horses pasture and then she headed back over the tall grass. I also wonder if this could be the same deer that's been coming through our place for a while??
I didn't mean to write a mini book about this, but wanted to share the story and photos with you. I hope you enjoy them!!
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
This has nothing to do with cancer or my health, except that it makes me feel really good and I wanted to share it with you.
This past week I have seen several momma deer and their new babies in the area that I live. Of course I never have my camera with me, but I get so excited to see these cute little things. And I mean little, the one's I've been seeing are not very old and are only maybe 2 feet tall at the shoulders.
We have deer go through our property on a regular basis and one female that is a loner, has been a regular at our place for over a year now. I was able to get a photo of her under an apple tree by my barn last June and have seen her several times recently.
The babies that I've seen have been a ways up the road from us and/or a mile or more away and I was telling my husband that I would love if it a momma and baby would come through our place.
Then yesterday I was leaving for an appointment and as I was pulling out of the drive way I saw a momma and baby crossing the street!! They came from the tall grass just the other side of our chain link fence. I got pretty excited to see them. Those little guys are so dang cute and they are afraid of everything and run really fast!! They headed into the trees, a little forest if you will, across the street from us.
I've been thinking of how I might be able to get some photos of these little one's . . . like take a chair and my camera and just sit in the trees and hope something comes along and I can get photos.
Well this evening I let the dogs out and instead of putting them in their regular kennel area I let them out in a small pasture I close off from the horses, so the grass can grow and then periodically let the horses in to eat the grass. Anyway . . . my dog Hank who is a cow dog , or would be, if we had cows, is very, very aware if there is ever another animal of any kind, in our vicinity. I noticed that he kept running up and down the fence line. At first I thought it might be because of the neighbors cat, but after a while I decided to go look and see if I could see anything over there. Secretly I was hoping I might see a deer or maybe even a baby deer, as this was the area where I saw the mom and baby just the day before.
I walked up and down the 6 foot high chain link fence, stepping on anything available to try and see over all the bushes and into the tall grass on the other side. I finally got to the end of the fence and stood on a tree stump, up on my toes and looked and looked and then all of the sudden I saw it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This tiny baby deer was laying in the tall grass and I could barely make out it's head and ears. I was so excited and I ran into the house and told my daughter and grabbed my camera. She came out and looked at it also and I was able to get the below photos!!!!! Because of the bushes and some wood fence panels I have against the chain link fence, the baby could not see us coming or anything else except maybe our heads as we peaked over the fence. He stood up and walked a few feet, looked around a little and then laid back down. I don't know where it's mom was, but I now wonder if she was the deer I saw this morning around 8:30am go into my horses pasture and then she headed back over the tall grass. I also wonder if this could be the same deer that's been coming through our place for a while??
I didn't mean to write a mini book about this, but wanted to share the story and photos with you. I hope you enjoy them!!
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Much more than I planned on writing.
Hi Everyone, I haven't been writing much lately as it's been a pretty busy time for me!! Granddaughter was born, oldest son came to visit from Colorado, youngest daughter graduated from high school and a week later had her 18th birthday. Father's day is next weekend and the weekend after that is my hubby's birthday, so by the time the end of June gets here I should be thoroughly exhausted!!!
On a personal note; I have been having some problems with pain in my pelvic area that radiates down my legs. I've had this pain, in different degrees, since going through chemo. Then I knew it was bone pain and it was much worse. Now I can only guess that's it's left over side effects from the chemo. I've read that some people continue to have different side effects for a very long time. Also, along with this I am still having a problem with fatigue. About 2 months ago I felt a noticeable increase in my energy and was pretty excited about it and thought that finally I was on my way to being a little closer to my old self. Well that is not the way it's going. I think I've actually went backwards in my energy level since feeling the increase.
One thing that really bothers me about this is that the last time I saw my oncologist and mentioned that I was still having some fatigue, I was a little surprised by his reaction, which was something like . . . "wonder why that is" or ?? He said in a way like I had never been through chemo or radiation!!!! I just shrugged and didn't say anything. For several months during chemo and radiation and a little while after, I was on pain medication. It was for the bone pain and also because I was having a lot of muscle pain and most of this was in my hip/pelvic region and my legs. It took what seemed like forever for my oncologist to take me serious about the pain and finally give me some meds that worked!! Well a couple of months ago he asked how I was doing regarding the pain. I said that either the pain was gone or the meds are working. We talked about it and decided it was time to get me off the pain meds. I was actually glad about this because he had me on some pretty strong and addictive stuff and I didn't want to take it any longer than necessary. The one thing he did say is that if I do continue to have pain after going off the pain meds, that I would need to see my regular doctor about it and not him.
I gotta tell you I kind of feel like my oncologist just totally dropped the ball on me. Like, OK, his parts done, move on now!!
Well unfortunately I did and still am having problems with the pain. It's not my muscles and I don't have to do anything for it to hurt. I really think that it's still bone pain as it seems to come from deep in my pelvic area and legs. I went to my regular doctor about this, who is actually a nurse practitioner, but I love her, and explained the situation. She said that she and/or the clinic she works for can't help patients with possible cronic pain issues. She did give me some pain pills and some strong ibuprophens. But, she obviously doesn't realize all that I've been through . . . although she knows . . . and she gave me the lowest dose of pain pills there is. Compared to what my body was used to, I might as well have been taking sugar pills for all the good they did. Anyway, at that time I decided to get a new doctor. With the insurance I have I had to submitte change papers by mid month for it to take effect the first of the next month. I called the new doctor to set up an appointment and because it's specifically to talk about the pain I'm having and possible pain managment issues, the first appointment they had available is July 1st!!!!! Well I took the appointment and now only have 2 more weeks to WAIT to see the doctor!! How friggin' rediculous is this . . . . . I called them over a month ago and still have 2 weeks to wait!!
I did do a photo shoot the end of May. It was a 3 day horse expo that I've done every year for 4 years now. Luckily I had a golf cart to cruz around in because even with that, I was totally and completely wiped out by the time it was over. I think it took me a week to recover from that.
OK, well that's enough complaining for now. I hope what I wrote makes sense, it turned out to be much more than I planned on writing!! On a much happier note and I gotta say it's the one thing that brings me the greatest amount of joy at this time and that is my granddaughter Paige. She is the most beautiful, sweet, wonderful little bundle of joy and I am totally in love with her and cannot get enough of her!!!!! Here are a couple of photos that my daughter took of her. I saw them for the first time today and just had to have copies and want to share them with you all!!
Paige loves to sleep with her hands on or around her face.
I made this Elf Cocoon & Hat for her and she looks so precious in it!!
On a personal note; I have been having some problems with pain in my pelvic area that radiates down my legs. I've had this pain, in different degrees, since going through chemo. Then I knew it was bone pain and it was much worse. Now I can only guess that's it's left over side effects from the chemo. I've read that some people continue to have different side effects for a very long time. Also, along with this I am still having a problem with fatigue. About 2 months ago I felt a noticeable increase in my energy and was pretty excited about it and thought that finally I was on my way to being a little closer to my old self. Well that is not the way it's going. I think I've actually went backwards in my energy level since feeling the increase.
One thing that really bothers me about this is that the last time I saw my oncologist and mentioned that I was still having some fatigue, I was a little surprised by his reaction, which was something like . . . "wonder why that is" or ?? He said in a way like I had never been through chemo or radiation!!!! I just shrugged and didn't say anything. For several months during chemo and radiation and a little while after, I was on pain medication. It was for the bone pain and also because I was having a lot of muscle pain and most of this was in my hip/pelvic region and my legs. It took what seemed like forever for my oncologist to take me serious about the pain and finally give me some meds that worked!! Well a couple of months ago he asked how I was doing regarding the pain. I said that either the pain was gone or the meds are working. We talked about it and decided it was time to get me off the pain meds. I was actually glad about this because he had me on some pretty strong and addictive stuff and I didn't want to take it any longer than necessary. The one thing he did say is that if I do continue to have pain after going off the pain meds, that I would need to see my regular doctor about it and not him.
I gotta tell you I kind of feel like my oncologist just totally dropped the ball on me. Like, OK, his parts done, move on now!!
Well unfortunately I did and still am having problems with the pain. It's not my muscles and I don't have to do anything for it to hurt. I really think that it's still bone pain as it seems to come from deep in my pelvic area and legs. I went to my regular doctor about this, who is actually a nurse practitioner, but I love her, and explained the situation. She said that she and/or the clinic she works for can't help patients with possible cronic pain issues. She did give me some pain pills and some strong ibuprophens. But, she obviously doesn't realize all that I've been through . . . although she knows . . . and she gave me the lowest dose of pain pills there is. Compared to what my body was used to, I might as well have been taking sugar pills for all the good they did. Anyway, at that time I decided to get a new doctor. With the insurance I have I had to submitte change papers by mid month for it to take effect the first of the next month. I called the new doctor to set up an appointment and because it's specifically to talk about the pain I'm having and possible pain managment issues, the first appointment they had available is July 1st!!!!! Well I took the appointment and now only have 2 more weeks to WAIT to see the doctor!! How friggin' rediculous is this . . . . . I called them over a month ago and still have 2 weeks to wait!!
I did do a photo shoot the end of May. It was a 3 day horse expo that I've done every year for 4 years now. Luckily I had a golf cart to cruz around in because even with that, I was totally and completely wiped out by the time it was over. I think it took me a week to recover from that.
OK, well that's enough complaining for now. I hope what I wrote makes sense, it turned out to be much more than I planned on writing!! On a much happier note and I gotta say it's the one thing that brings me the greatest amount of joy at this time and that is my granddaughter Paige. She is the most beautiful, sweet, wonderful little bundle of joy and I am totally in love with her and cannot get enough of her!!!!! Here are a couple of photos that my daughter took of her. I saw them for the first time today and just had to have copies and want to share them with you all!!
Paige loves to sleep with her hands on or around her face.
I just love the way she has that one finger pointing up.
Like she's saying . . . ok, wait a minute, that's enough pictures for now!!
Like she's saying . . . ok, wait a minute, that's enough pictures for now!!
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
Wendy
Friday, June 5, 2009
Birth Announcement
Hello Everyone,
Just wanted to share a "birth announcement" with you all. Paige is doing very well and she is just the sweetest baby!! I can't believe that in just a few days she will be 1 month old!!
Keep Smilin, Wendy
Just wanted to share a "birth announcement" with you all. Paige is doing very well and she is just the sweetest baby!! I can't believe that in just a few days she will be 1 month old!!
Keep Smilin, Wendy
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Paige Adrian - My New Granddaughter !!!!
My new Granddaughter, Paige Adrian was born Saturday morning, May 9, 2009 at 4:51 AM! ! ! She weighed 6 pounds, 9 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. She and her mom are doing just great!!!!
My daughter had a C-section and once Paige was in the baby warmer I got to cut the extra off the umbilical cord. This was so cool for me. I've had 4 babies, but I've never been on the other end of a baby being born, so this was very special for me!!
Because of the C-Section and the hour at which she was born we ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days. It was so nice being able to be there with and for her, but I was sure glad when we were able to go home.
I hope you enjoy this slide show of her first day in this world.
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
My daughter had a C-section and once Paige was in the baby warmer I got to cut the extra off the umbilical cord. This was so cool for me. I've had 4 babies, but I've never been on the other end of a baby being born, so this was very special for me!!
Because of the C-Section and the hour at which she was born we ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days. It was so nice being able to be there with and for her, but I was sure glad when we were able to go home.
I hope you enjoy this slide show of her first day in this world.
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Maternity Slideshow
Hello Everyone, I am doing pretty good these days. I'm doing so much more since the weather is getting nicer. I have my monthly oncology visit next week and then the following week I have my first mammogram since all this cancer stuff started.
I have a slideshow that I just made of my daughter Jessi, who is due May 11th. I hope you enjoy the show!!
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
I have a slideshow that I just made of my daughter Jessi, who is due May 11th. I hope you enjoy the show!!
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
April 7th - ONE YEAR TODAY ! ! ! !
Hi Everyone,
One year ago I received the phone call that changed my life forever . . . "you have Breast Cancer".
In some ways it seems like forever ago and in other ways it's hard to believe it's been a year already.
WOW, what a year it's been, in more ways than anyone but me will ever know, and I'm so glad the worst is now behind me!!!
I am happy to report that I've FINALLY seen an increase in my energy level and am able to do more than I have for a long time. I am still nowhere near what I was, but hopefully it will continue to get better. I got out and did some yard work yesterday, trimmed the lilac bush which is actually a tree that was in bad shape when we moved in here almost 2 years ago, so it was in need of a good trimming. I had to stop every once in a while and rest but I got it done!!
Today I have some errands to run and then I plan to do a little spring cleaning in the front yard. The weather is supposed to be wonderful again today and then some rain for the next few days. I'm so tired of snow and wet and mud!!!
I hope you all have a wonderful day!!
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
One year ago I received the phone call that changed my life forever . . . "you have Breast Cancer".
In some ways it seems like forever ago and in other ways it's hard to believe it's been a year already.
WOW, what a year it's been, in more ways than anyone but me will ever know, and I'm so glad the worst is now behind me!!!
I am happy to report that I've FINALLY seen an increase in my energy level and am able to do more than I have for a long time. I am still nowhere near what I was, but hopefully it will continue to get better. I got out and did some yard work yesterday, trimmed the lilac bush which is actually a tree that was in bad shape when we moved in here almost 2 years ago, so it was in need of a good trimming. I had to stop every once in a while and rest but I got it done!!
Today I have some errands to run and then I plan to do a little spring cleaning in the front yard. The weather is supposed to be wonderful again today and then some rain for the next few days. I'm so tired of snow and wet and mud!!!
I hope you all have a wonderful day!!
Keep Smilin'
Wendy
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